Tuesday, March 10, 2015
The Seven Deadly Sins never seemed all that bad to me. Anyway, I've known worse.
Sure, they have their faults, who doesn't? One outgrows his jeans at an alarming rate, and another watches too much TV, and they all say nasty things behind your back. Still, half of the official vices as we know them, as they're named, are generally up for a good time.
Spend an evening with the SDS, and if tomorrow finds your set of collectible CCCP vodka glasses shattered in the fireplace, and you're a bit fuzzy as to how that all happened, it doesn't mean you didn't have a good time. Plus, you know the usual suspects -- Wrath, Gluttony, Pride, Lust. Sloth is off the hook.
Seems to me, had god and Moses and whoever really wanted to steer us to virtue, they wouldn't have gone toe-to-toe with such attractive competition. Lust; Vanity. (Why Vanity gets a bad rap is curious; I'd much rather not be beautiful but think I was, than be beautiful and think I wasn't.)
Had I written the scripture, I would have chosen vices that were thoroughly unpleasant, vices that left one begging for Purity and Fidelity.
Worry would have perched at the top of my sin list. Even in the short term, Worry doesn't make you feel better, eat better, sleep deeper, love longer. Worry just saps the joy right out of your soul, and that's what I call a proper vice. Which brings us to sin #2: Irritability. Then #3, Vapidity -- in the company of which you find yourself running into the arms of that most imprudent of all virtues -- Courage.
After Vapidity, I guess comes B.O. And then B.O. followed by Nit-picking. Nit-picking followed by Pontificating.
The thing is, and it's too bad I wasn't around to clue in the apostles at the time, the thing is to invite only vices with zero appeal to the table. In that way, guests will be texting Virtue for a ride before you can say, "Stand clear! B.O. just cut the cheese."