Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Happy St. Patrick's Day and pass the guacamole



It's a truth universally acknowledged that if you're not Irish or Catholic or living in Chicago, the local supermarket flyer is your only official St. Patrick's Day alert.

That this week caught me flat-footed, without so much as a cabbage to my name, I blame entirely on Ralphs.

St. Patrick's Day, historically, requires a circular featuring corned beef and cabbage at half price, plus a damned good discount on potatoes and Irish Whiskey, with clip-art of winking midgets and pots of gold in every corner.

So what's in this week's ad? Salmon and turkey burgers.

On this day of all days, no discount on Irish products? That's either a sin of omission (doubt it), or a shot fired across the bow.

I suspect a hidden agenda and a war on St. Patrick's Day. (Who owns Ralphs these days, anyway. Ever wonder? Not Ralph O'Toole, I'll tell you that much.)

If you're one of those people who choose to see the best in others, bury your head in the sand, then I have a story that may change your mind. When I visited Ralphs this morning, slapped down a side of Kielbasa (which sort of tastes like corned beef if you close your eyes, plus it's 30% off until Wednesday), the clerk had the nerve to say, "Happy Holiday."

And that's when I realized enough was enough. Time to take a stand. I leaned across the counter, grabbed her by the smock, looked her straight in the eye and growled, "That would be St. Patrick's Day to you, ma'am."

We all have our moments of heroism, I truly believe that. And though the people in line behind me said nothing, they looked stunned and amazed. I felt their tacit though timid support, and that was enough.

22 comments:

  1. Good for you! Silly me...until I read this I didn't connect the cabbage on sale with the standard menu for this time of year. I made baked chicken this past weekend! The problem must be that I don't get supermarket flyers;)

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  2. Have I told you lately that I love you?

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  3. My St. Patrick's Day tree is adorned with little pots of gold, my tweed pajamas have been demothed, The Quiet Man is on the telly, shillelaghs are on the hearth and carolers are serenading me with My Wild Irish Rose. Happy Holiday! (Fair warning: I'm not wearing a smock!)

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    1. Oh, yes, The Quiet Man. O'Hara is so sublimely luscious.

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  4. Deliciously fun read! How dare they not celebrate St. Patrick's Day....

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  5. Ah, the clip art! I missed the clip art this year too!

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  6. So... so... crotchety. WHy would a kielbasa ever resemble corny beef? Are you daft?

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  7. The problem is, your shopping options are too limited in Altadena. Had you had a Vons to go to, you couldn't have missed the green iced cookies, green iced cupcakes, green bananas, green coffee and Guinness.

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  8. You had me laughing out loud and reading this to J whether he liked it or not. He liked it.

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  9. Oh no, time for an intervention -- Ann Erdman is multi-tasking AGAIN.

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  10. I applaud you! Even we have a St. Patrick's Day parade here in Tokyo.

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  11. Sprouts has been giving samples of Irish Soda Bread for a week or so . . . you're at the wrong store!

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  12. Karin O'Bugge, that was funny as hell..

    They take it seriously on the island. Yesterday afternoon the city closed off the main street for the "Irish Wildlife Society" parade. ("Wildlife" refers to life style, not critters.)

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  13. Green river, free green beer, parade, corned beef, cabbage, potatoes . . . We have it all in Chicago.

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  14. I'm from Chicago, Jean, and I miss it on March 17th. I also miss it in June and September.

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  15. Guess you've never been to Boston on the 7th.

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  16. The battle continues...
    It has all changed for me over the years. Now, I don't even want to leave the house on that day. The bars fill up by noon and it just isn't safe on the roads.

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