Friday, February 13, 2015

Shades of grey area



I never read Fifty Shades of Grey because it didn't sound like my cup of whatever. But here's what I won't do: Berate or shame anyone who enjoys this particular fantasy.

Because what we find erotic is so beyond our control; to change a sexual fantasy would be about as successful as trying to guide a night time dream. You'd never fall asleep. The whole thing is so singular, and only occasionally couples, successfully.

When someone doesn't wade in your pool of primordial ooze, well, it seems funny at best, and at worst...I had this boyfriend once, and thought I was falling in love. And he said, "Let's tell each other our sexual fantasies." And I said, giggle-giggle, "You go first."

When he finished his wish-list, I grabbed the car keys and said something to the effect of, "Don't you ever touch me again, you fucking pervert."

I suspect that sex is tied to the way we shot out of the womb, got the bum wiped, and blinked our way into the reality.

And then, later, lessons learned, taught by questionable teachers.

33 comments:

  1. My friend wrote this on Facebook today, "'Fifty Shades of Grey.' From what I've heard, it's porn. But without the authenticity, story or soul."

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  2. Your boyfriend's wish-list sounds like something out of "The Aristocrats." The Aristocrats

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  3. Did it, by any chance, involve a live chicken?

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  4. Ok, so now you're sort of scaring me.

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  5. Ah, those questionable teachers. Sometimes, not often, I look forward to memory loss. Trouble is, I want it to be selective, don't want to lose the good stuff.

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  6. Oh, Karin, I was not speaking for myself!

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  7. From NBC News: "Firefighters [in London] warned Thursday that racy film "Fifty Shades of Grey" could lead to more people becoming trapped in handcuffs, intimate rings and household items. The London Fire Brigade (LFB) said there had been a surge in incidents of people being stuck while trying to recreate steamy moments from the adult drama, in which a young businessman and his love interest explore bedroom discipline. Firefighters in the British capital attended 472 incidents involving people being trapped or stuck inside items in 2013/14, the LFB said — a figure that has steadily increased since the "Fifty Shades of Grey" book was released in 2011. That number includes seven instances of men with rings stuck on their genitals, the LFB said in a statement, and one of a man locked in a titanium chastity belt."

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  8. Don't worry, Earl. That was a yolk.

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  9. I kinda want to ask what an "intimate ring" is, and I kinda don't.

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  10. Hello, Kitty.
    http://www.wired.com/2015/02/misty-keasler-love-hotels/

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  11. LMAO must be the most frequent text between London firefighters these days. And Mr. Earl, is "Don't be chicken!" a term for setting boundaries or a challenge to try something new?

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  12. Barbara Ehrenreich: "Aargh, we're back to talking about Fifty Shades of Gray. I'll say it again: There's nothing titillating about being screwed by a sadistic billionaire. That's just how the economy works."

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  13. I think the first task at hand is to learn how to spell gray.

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  14. Doris: It's an old joke. A guy goes to confession and tells the priest he had sex with a chicken. The priest replies, "Did your chicken die too?"

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  15. It's OK, anon, the character's name is Grey.

    Not that I read it or anything.
    But I know a lot of people who did, people I respect, and they enjoyed it.

    As for teachers, I wish I could unlearn some of what they taught me.

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  16. Karin: I can't stay away from your thread.

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  17. Nothing comes between me and my chaps.

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  18. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  19. Preferences aren't always set in the womb. Christian's hangup (yes, I've read the books and apart from the sex enjoyed the story) stemmed from anger at his lost mum. Some young boys get imprinted when they see their mother wearing or doing something that arouses them (though a 5 year old wouldn't know what was happening.) So, mums, don't let your kid see you dressed up as a French maid or dominatrix for that fancy dress party. Not sure what happened to men who like their women dressed in rubber scuba gear!

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  20. Mr. Earl, you made this thread, chaps, chicken and all.

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  21. I guess it must be right up my . . . alley.

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  22. Lowell(Ocala DP) retitled one of my photos this week 'shades of grey'. He was giggling I suspect. Lowell giggles at all his puns.I thought it was a riot. Didn't read the book. I've got millions of choices in front of it... wrapped in leather and a few chains.

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  23. Even though I didn't read the book, I'm kicking myself that I didn't buy stock in Home Depot last week. By Tuesday it'll be too late.

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  24. I see what you mean. Kicking myself as well. Hey, do you like kicking yourself?HOME DEPOT AISLE

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  25. For anyone who's worried about this movie encouraging submission in women, this just in from Glasgow:

    A Valentine's Day cinema screening of Fifty Shades of Grey ended in chaos when three women were arrested for attacking a man.

    Witnesses claim the bust-up started after the victim asked the "worse for the wear" women to quieten down during a viewing on Saturday evening.

    Police then rushed to Grosvenor Cinema in Glasgow's west end where they arrested three women.

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  26. It's not my cup of tea, that's for sure. I'm unhappy with what is shown and talked about on TV these days. Prime time, day time, all the time. Even on the news! I'm not a prude, but aren't there any FCC standards on TV anymore?

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