Saturday, August 31, 2013

Conversating



Overheard on the Sam Merrill Trail this summer.

[man on cell] Yes, Dude, yes she did ... Yes she did ... You're right, she did ... I can't believe it, yes, yes she did ... No, no, not that, no she didn't.

[two women] I can't say I'm happy about any of it. But the good news is, he's a pharmacist.

[two men] So I said, 'This is not the first time it's happened. Fool me once, shame on you. Right; am I right? Fool me twice, fool me three times, then like, shame on you all over again.'

[woman on cell] I'll call you later, ok? I'm at the airport with lots of baggage.

[man on cell] I ... Well, I ... No, I ... Listen, I ... I ... I ... Can I just say ... Can I ... I'm losing the signal, you're breaking up ... I'm losing ... I said ... I...

[man and woman] Next time we want to get in shape, let's go bowling.

[man and woman] Fine. If you don't want to talk about it, then I don't want to talk about it. If you want to shut down, then I want to shut down. If you've got nothing to say, then I've got nothing to say. What do you say to that?

37 comments:

  1. If I had gone up there at any time during the past week, you would have me calling 911.

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  2. These are fantastic - overhearing other people's conversations are half the fun of working out!

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  3. Wonderful! These build beautifully.

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  4. I'm a natural eavesdropper.

    By the way, list of "non words" came out recently, and conversating was included. I vote we make it a word.

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  5. Please keep collecting these, they're very funny. I pity the guy in some critical emotional situation who started breaking up and the worst possible moment. The folks on cell phones, especially those with ear plugs, don't seem to realize they're overheard by everyone. In my front garden this morning a guy walking down the opposite side of the street was so loud, I could follow all he said about not liking to go to baseball matches but he would go anyway as he had nothing else to do today. It was like having a public announcement system walk by.

    PS I will be looking over my shoulder for you from now on in case you overhear me talking to the dog.

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  6. When I was a kid, people talking to themselves were considered mentally ill.

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  7. Ha!
    Another reason you won't catch me hiking about and speaking audibly into a cell phone---and I can shut down from the comfort of my sofa.

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  8. Material for another article here? Or maybe a book? The obvious lies are great. Cell phones have eliminated "quiet time" to far too great a degree.

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  9. Leah Garchik, the SF Chronicle (www.sfgate.com) gossip columnist usually ends her column with a line called "Public Eavesdropping." Here's a recent one: "Her father is sending her to an all-girls college so she won't get hit on by boys. He doesn't know that she's gay."

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  10. You're just being an artist, Karin. Here's what photographer Walker Evans said on the topic: "Stare. It is the way to educate your eye, and more. Stare, pry, listen, eavesdrop. Die knowing something. You are not here long."

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  11. Since I know for a fact everyone around here likes to observe their fellow man, I think I'll start an anchor-post on Fridays thru the weekend where we all post the best bit of lifted conversation from the week.

    Profanity will be allowed; the only way you can embarrass me is by writing nothing (a distinct possibility, I realize, but then I'll just pretend this idea never happened).

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  12. Each one of your "eavesdrops" is the beginning of a story.

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  13. Everybody's said all the stuff that's fit to print, but it's undeniable that this is great material. If you did this, say, every weekend, you'd have a book's worth in a year, and I'd buy it.

    btw, the woman claiming she's at the airport and your final lady . . . those are, to me, almost too dark to laugh at. But they're still great.

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  14. Consider this, Banjo -- that last speaker was a man.

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  15. Where's the anchor post? It's a great idea.

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  16. Blimey!

    These people are there to experience the wild beauty of the San Gabes -- supposedly -- and they end up trying to sort their mental baggage. Why did they bother to go there?

    That's why I usually hike alone. Such a beautiful range -- streams, waterfalls, canyons, big-cone spruce, not to mention the fragrances of the herbs. They're there to be enjoyed, appreciated . . . savored.

    As the great philosopher Stan Laurel succinctly put it, "After all, life isn't short enough!"

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  17. Re: "that last speaker was a man." Good! I like spreading the blame. And the tone does sound male, but he clearly fears a cessation of talking . . . So much for stereotypes.

    More and more, I find myself justifying human jabberwocky as a (lame) imitation of birds. John Wayne, Gary Cooper, et al flunked Birdsong 101. But they were never happy about it.

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  18. I am also a shameless eavesdropper. I get it from my mom's family who are all as nosy as can be.

    We used to sit in restaurants, fascinated by all the people and conversations around us, and take turns making up stories about the various groups, how they were related (or not) to each other, what they were talking/arguing about etc.

    Makes life endlessly fascinating, at the very least.

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  19. As someone who often says the wrong at just the right time I can proudly say that I don't use my phone in public unless it's a shopping problem. I always wait until I'm face to face with someone to do my best work.

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  20. This is why I text. Of course I stop and pull over so people can pass me on the trail.

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  21. I speak low and almost inaudible into a cell phone.
    Did you know this funny blog?
    Overheard in New York.

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  22. So glad you didn't run into me on the Crest trail drawing my vertically challenged frame up as tall as it would go, chuffing to scare off an imaginary mountain lion. Not sure what you would have made of that. Also glad I didn't run into the lion who probably would have laughed his ass off before he had me for lunch.

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  23. I have a story that relates to the subject at hand, but I'm to embarrassed to tell it since I'm the star

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  24. Very funny! Painful too, but mostly funny. These remind me I should carry pen and paper when I'm out and about. I heard some good conversating this summer, took a mental note, but now I can't remember it.

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  25. Him: I hear you've been having a plumbing problem.
    Her: I think I may need a new mechanism.

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  26. Maybe anchor post was the wrong word. It'll just be a post every Friday, so Pierre you'll have to wait a few days to say nothing.

    Mostly I prefer to hike alone, John. No cell phone or nuthin'.

    That's a pretty creative family, Karen.

    Sonia, no I didn't know about that one, but there's some other group that contacted me once because they'd seen one of my overheard posts. But I lost their info.

    Doris, I'm sorry I missed that. Remember the guy who got trapped by a mountain lion after he threw pieces of his bologna sandwich at him?

    PA, I never knew you to be shy.

    Susan, yes, like dreams.

    Earl, no fair.



    P, texting and hiking has caused many an accident.

    Paula, I just adore that. It's got a great Mark Twain ring to it.



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  27. Great post and fantastic comments. No cell phones on trails or beaches here because there's no cell reception:) Looking forward to Friday's post - I will keep my ears open....

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  28. I think your overhearing the conversating folk beats my spastic guy on the elliptical at the gym a few weeks ago!

    And Earl-I think you owe me a new keyboard, just splorted soda all over mine while reading your plumbing conversating commentary. rotfl (and coughing)

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  29. That was really good!
    Just one more reason why I don't like carrying a cell phone. I do, but I rarely talk on it. To me, it's nothing more than a mini-laptop.

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  30. You need to find a quieter trail!

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