Wednesday, July 24, 2013

George? No, really, George?



No Prince Albert there, so no Prince Albert here. I'm not going to whine about it, because that's life, right? But for one brief shining moment, I dreamed,

I dreamed that Boz and Willow and Scout and Abby and Louise would see me for who I truly am -- a prince, a sleek black panther, a magical being, a member of the royal family.

It was a lovely dream, and the sky rained Snausages. I don't know if I can convey the beauty of the vision -- green fields filled with tennis balls and turkey carcasses, cat shit, apple cores, buried bones, oh, and lots and lots of pee and all the time in the world to sniff it, and the moon was a giant red Frisbee ...

Then, as TS Eliot said, "Human voices wake us --"

Karin told me they named the prince, George. She petted me on the head and gave me my dish of Science Diet Chow, Designed To Meet All The Nutritional Needs Of Your Chubby Dog.

29 comments:

  1. Albert, I agree that your name would have been a princely choice for the new Royal baby. It appears that you will have to continue to hold the name in good stead and carry on as the princely canine you are.

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  2. I'm sorry, Albert. If it's any comfort, Boz thinks of you as an alpha, and yes, a sleek, black panther.

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  3. Albert, I'm so sorry. If it is any comfort, I have learned to never hire a plumber named George.

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  4. Albert, Abby tells me you're a prince in her eyes, and she thought you weren't at all chubby. You wouldn't have liked the constant scrutiny of royal life, would you? Every hole you've dug or avocado you've stolen would make headlines and then there'd be paparazzi outside your house and you'd have to bark at them all the time.

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  5. And Albert, you've been neglecting your duties as an inspector of... I forgot now what the heck it was you were tasked with inspecting. Oh, a banana tree but the kind in the ground not that thing you love to lick in public.

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  6. Dude, you rule all of Altadena and its surrounding areas... You've made your mark... You're a lot further ahead than George... chin up, u will always outshine the rest...

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  7. Oh, Albert. You'll always be a prince to us.

    George...hmmmm....do the royals have a short list of names they're 'allowed' to choose from? Of all the new blue-blooded parents, I would have thought these two would have ventured into new territory.

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  8. Be thankful your name isn't Damn Spot.

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  9. I'm presuming here, but I'll bet you're not a corgi man, anyway.

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  10. Ranger sez:

    Chin up Cuzz, you woulda been miserable with all that attention. And, I agree with Miss H, whatever happened to that side job of yours as an economic forecaster? Enquiring minds wanna know. Incidentally, and not to start a pissing contest or anything like that, but my narna trees are ginormous and producing fruit. Just sayin'.

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  11. Food for the "Chubby" dog? Really? And you take that insult? Brutus sends little baby yips of protest.

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  12. There's still hope for Albert. King George was always called Bertie by his family.

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  13. Albert is the only dog of mine who has never had a nickname, not a nice one, anyway. Bertie is cute, but if I start that now, I'm afraid it will just confuse him. George is actually a great name for a dog -- best for a terrier or a boxer.

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  14. Oh, Albert, you are such a prince already! And you deserve another treat....

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  15. there is only one Albert-G-d-dammit! Am glad the Windsors figured that out before they made the mistake of naming the third in line to the throne after your fluffy pup. Fluffy, not chubby!

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  16. The Queen said, "Now William remember, this isn't like naming a thoroughbred."

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  17. Albert you are really a prince, with lovely face!

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  18. Albert is glad he has such a loyal band of supporters. In your name, I've given him a Canine Wellness Reduced Calorie Reward (so he doesn't get any, er, fluffier.)

    You could be right, Earl. I did hear the Queen had Wills in for a talk.

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  19. Albert will always be the one and only Prince Albert to all of us...

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  20. I swear he looks as if he's speaking this. What a great match between photo and text. And your third paragraph is absolutely tops. Who needs royalty?

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  21. "Reduced Calorie Reward" so he doesn't get any fluffier? And you talk about me calling Brutus a little porker? Hmmm. I might have a talk with Gloria Allred when she calls me after Albert's email.

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  22. Xactly the 1st question that came to my canine mind too. We Dogs think alike.

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  23. Albert, it's all in how you look at it. Would you rather be a prince or a mensch? Given the goings-on of at least one prince -- which may result in that prince being (ahem) passed over -- I think the answer's clear.

    Besides that, do you really want your noble image sullied by being displayed every other week on the National Enquirer or the Globe?

    Virtue, and even menschikeit (I think that's a word) trumps royalty every time.

    So, carry on being a dude.

    Sorry about the Science Diet. Maybe there's a way I can sneak you a Taco Bell burrito.

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  24. Poor Albert. You really do look sad in that photo.

    Don't fret, dear boy. Louise still thinks of you as a prince. That doesn't stop her from wanting to kick your ass, but it's the thought that counts.

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  25. Susan, Louise is a Queen, she bows to on one.

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  26. Scout was really rooting for Prince Albert, especially seeing that she felt fairly confident it wouldn't be Prince Scout. When Scout dreams there is always a squirrel getting what it finally deserves.

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  27. "It was a lovely dream, and the sky rained Snausages...."
    You are so good at this!

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