Monday, June 3, 2013

Cheap Thrills in Home Improvement



Did I say paint is my friend? Oh, now I can but laugh at my naivete. Like this: Hahahaha.

Paint is not my friend; Spackle is my friend. My friend, and yes, my lovah.

Why did no one ever tell me about Spackle, magical magical Spackle, the way it covers all of life's imperfections, and at only 3 bucks a toss. I want to coat my house in Spackle; nay, I want to coat the world in Spackle. I want to Spackle me, I want to Spackle you. I want to Spackle...



Well, he could use some sanding first.



Sometimes when Spackle has nothing left in the tank (you know how that goes) and lies back, exhausted and damp, crying, Enough! Pax!, then I cheat; I take caulking as my lovah. Though afterwards, when there is evidence of what caulking and I have done together -- I feel rather dirty and ashamed. No photos on that front, we're not that kind of blog.

31 comments:

  1. Did u know you could use joint compound to texture your walls? that trick will mimic that rustic Tuscan look... Also if you don't have spackle to fill a hole, toothpaste works great and blends in w/white walls.. I gave up painting walls- so much easier to hire a painter...A good painter that is!

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  2. I love spackle. I use it everywhere, walls and woodwork. I just made my utility room presentable by sanding the spackle that had been applied helter-skelter by the builder and slathering walls and ceiling with a coat of antique white paint - that's the beauty of spackle, you can take it off as easily as you put it on [provided you don't paint over it first].

    Now caulk is another story. I do not like anything about caulk. Bad experience that I've never gotten over....

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  3. Lovin' your adventure with home improvement. I'm not much of a fixer-upper, altho I have spackled, caulked, sanded, painted -- and lived to tell about it. I've also "toothpasted" the wall.

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  4. I'm not even entirely sure what sparkle is. Isn't a kind of germanfoof filled innards? So you see,Ian still only impressed.

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  5. As long as you don't add it to the hummus--

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  6. Fast and funny! I don't have any spackle at the moment, but from now on, whatever makes my life easier will be my lovah.

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  7. Thats the name of David Ocker's cat - Spackle. He has the blog Mixed Meters.

    I like spackle. The building material. Easy to work with. Caulk is tricky. Takes some skill. And the rubbery dents can be a magnet for mold. But Caulk would make a nice name for a cat.

    Cagney and Lacey
    Caulk and Spackle

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  8. Now I know why most painters are men. Women get turned on by the spackle. Or is it the paint fumes?

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  9. First off, you are so darn funny!
    I've done a ton of home "improvements" and I can tell that spackle and caulking are awesome.

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  10. Spackle seems to have many lovahs, so I can understand its exhaustion. I confess I've loved spackle too. But I've moved on to wood filler. The way it hides nail holes in woodwork has me walking around with a silly smile on my face.

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  11. I'm quote fond of paint, although, in all fairness, I've never, not even once, had a date with spackle. Well, there was that one time, I had to fill nail holes prior to painting. But, it meant nothing. I swear.

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  12. Love the pictures of Albert!
    What a beautiful pink tongue. It's signal of a good health.

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  13. Spackle, yes, but I never trust caulk.

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  14. I used Spackle in the room of my romantic getaway. Also Raid, Lysol and Bleach. ha!

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  15. Yes, I think Spackle is the sweet talker of home improvement products. You don't have to wear gloves or mask, you can breathe it, you can probably eat it for all I know. After reading the labels, most of the other stuff is nothing but cancer in a tub.

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  16. You can make a textured looking ceiling by mixing your spackle in with your paint, then putting it on with a fluffy roller. As a fellow old house owner, I can assure you that it covers a multitude of sins on the ceiling - cracks, whatever ails you. It's been one of my consistent best friends!

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  17. Now you're talkin'! Git some!

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  18. It's very strange, when you walk around you house with a paintbrush and Spackle lovah, it's like the Red Shoes, you can't stop.

    I do have the professionals coming in tomorrow. Maybe. I will. Stop.

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  19. When I was 12, I played Karin in "The Red Shoes." I couldn't dance at all, but that didn't stop me.

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  20. I used to think spackle was just for "oopsies".

    Then I got married and found out it is not called spackle, but "auckenpucky" according to my in-laws. Yes. Auckenpucky. Oddly enough, my honey is of a mostly English background and I of mostly German background, so how my family didn't come up with auckenpucky instead of my in-laws, is a mystery.

    Caulk works fine for me if it does not have to be a fine, perfect line. Caulk hates me (I think there is a joke in there, but I'll refrain from expanding on the spatch-cock references). Even with the little tool you can buy to "make perfect caulk lines", I spend more time wiping it off me or the tool or the place I am caulking, that I always buy twice as much caulk as I should need. There *are* anti-mold versions of caulk, if it is important in the application.

    I hope your professional help sees fit to help you with your caulk and spackle.

    I *can* see it now---next dog is going to be "Spatchcaulk" and for 15 years, you'll have a lovely time talking to the good folks at the vet!

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  21. You're in rare form! I'm glad everyone is hearing the eroticomic power of those two words, spackle and caulk. Without poetry, who knows if we'd have heard that. Well, poetry and standup comics. And dirty jokes. Fine. I'm going away.

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  22. Spackle has done wonders for the brief I'm writing. Hides breaks in logic like a charm.

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  23. One of the many reasons that I'm not a homeowner has to do with the total confusion I experience when faced with anything that has anything to do with home repair.

    Spackle? Bondo? Spacko? Bondle?

    One of each, please.

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  24. Oh, I was going to do a caulk blog, but Trish stole the only polite term I could use. I have something really funny for caulks*****, but I lack the balls.

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  25. You make me laugh. I do hope these pros you're bringing in appreciate, and comment upon, your passion for spackle. No secret lovahs - you have brought it out into the light of day. Good for you!

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  26. Caulking??? I would rather paint than clean.....sometimes I don't just paint over the grime and dust bunnies but take out the spiders too!!

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  27. This brings back memories of long ago times! I was young and I could Spackle and Caulk and Paint and Paper, too!
    That was another lifetime....! Now? I would have to call in the Professionals.
    Love your doggie....He is very very Handsome!

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  28. "It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it." --Stephen Wright

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  29. "Some have paint thrust upon them," Terry.

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  30. We had to get a pump rental for our ac unit after some renovations in my store messed with our air conditioner. Home improvement of any kind is always a nightmare for me. Good to see some people have a good sense of humor about it!

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  31. I like the lips on your red Spackle lid. Oops... not that kind of blog.

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