Saturday, March 9, 2013

We've Got Class(es)



Today, I received the following email message via my local sustainability/gardening club:

Learn-By-Doing: Saturday, 9:30am to 5pm, $28.00

Be prepared for some note taking and some light to med hands-on work. We will learn about removing lawns, applying permaculture, weeding, garden care, mulching, composting, and building with "Urbanite" (broken concrete).

Please Bring:
Work gloves, sturdy shoes, garden tools, bottled water, lunch

If available bring:
Wheelbarrow, shovel, pick, rake, etc.


Learn by Doing ... is that brilliant or what? I'm toying with the concept, but instead of charging $28, I think I'll offer three classes at $10 a pop, with an incentive for students who sign up for the whole package -- maybe I'll let them vacuum my living room or polish my car or something.

As for the classes themselves, this is still in the planning stage, but see what you think.

1st Class

Be prepared for some note taking and light-to-med hands-on work. You will learn to remove both crusty and viscous material from plates, glasses, and cups. We'll also teach you to dry dishes with something called a "towel," and to set a festive holiday table using household “Urbanite” (broken china).

What we'll provide:
Soiled kitchenware, grease, urbanite

Please bring:
Towels, detergent, glue

If available bring:
Adult beverages, etc.

2nd Class

Be prepared for some note taking and med-to-med hands-on work. You will learn how to apply a foamy spray-bottled substance to windows. Once you've mastered that technique, you will also learn to clutch a soft piece of paper in your hand and move your arm in a counter-clockwise direction. Eventually you'll see trees and sky and things! If that sounds unbelievable, don't take my word for it -- visit our testimonials. Should time permit, we'll explore the synergistic relationship between duct tape and window sill "Urbanite" (wood rot).

What we'll provide:
Dirty windows, urbanite

Please bring:
Windex, paper towels, duct tape, scissors, trees

If available bring:
More adult beverages, etc.

3rd Class

Be prepared for some note taking and med-to-heavy hands-on work. You will learn how to apply shampoo to a Labrador retriever. In the process, you will also learn all about the Labrador teeth and jaw design, plus an effective "stop and release" command, and what to do with a steaming pile of “Urbanite."

What we'll provide:
Dog, shit

Please bring:
Shovel, bags

If available bring:
Jello shots

37 comments:

  1. Good one. "We" can make this a nationwide chain of classes. I want to partner with ya!

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  2. No comment yet - it'll have to wait till I stop laughing.

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  3. Like Bellis, I got my morning laugh so thanks for that. Should your class 3 fill up, I'm happy to offer Dakota to help out. She is a lab, always in need of shampoo and she's a champ at producing steamy urbanite.

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  4. Since years of practice have made me competent in the above exercises, may I come to monitor the students as they progress? I promise to bring lots of adult beverages and try not to snort and snicker.

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  5. You didn't mention anything about bringing food. I suppose that's being provided, e.g, a buffet. In that case, you don't wanna miss these classes.

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  6. I'll join in on the partnership...adding a class of "How to shovel snow"!!! I think we can make this work!!!

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  7. Brenda, Chieftess, yes! A chain. And to satisfy CP, we can include a finger-food hands-on class. Following the hors d'oeuvre, we'll repeat class #1.

    Bayside, I'll keep that in mind. Bellis has previously mentioned that labs seem to have a talent for wafting one unpleasant odor or another.

    Doris, that swap sounds appealing.

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  8. Oh I have a few people in mind to sign up to your classes!!!

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  10. Maybe you can hear the thud, thud of my steps as I run the other way . . .

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  11. Offer a laundry class and I have three children and a husband on the waiting list. Please keep them away from the adult beverages.

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  12. Oh, Albert! I love it when dogs get all flatty-headed.

    I offer my back yard. There's a lot to learn there since the recession took over the lower 40.

    We, too, have dog shit, and everything out back is solar-powered. Plus, we recycle!

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  13. You're onto something, KB! I can offer Learn-By-Doing cat pill giving classes and cat claw trimming classes, followed immediately by Learn-By-Doing first aid courses. I'm excited!!!

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  14. Love this idea! If nothing else I'll now utilize adult beverages when doing household tasks. FYI, blueberry jello shots turn your tongue bright blue, and it takes a while for it to fade. Maybe mitigating the ill effects of Jello Shot Tongue can be covered class #4.

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  15. I knew you enterprising folks would want a piece of action. And should we all check out Anon's Hottest Updates? I give that a big yeppers.

    As for Albert's folded ears, he loved the canon powershot (and it loved him back), but he hates the tractor. "Evil, evil device," he says, slinking away when it's pointed in his general direction.

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  16. Brilliant! I really think you're on to something. They pay you, they do the work, they bring the booze! Priceless...

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  17. So funny that your piece more than makes up for the hour of sleep missing this morning. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to remove some Urbanite.

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  18. Albert!!

    Shades of my former JC Field Biology class - the suburb the school was located in had eleven Nature Centers. Four credits at $180 a pop!

    Would that be considered as 'child labor'?

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  19. we have plenty of "urbanite" here too. I think I need a nap now that I've considered all the classes I could offer. Oh but the hassle of competing with the local Parks & Rec Dept for "adult leisure time", somehow, I suppose the offer of "urbanite" and "learn by doing" shall overcome the blah Parks & Rec offerings

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  20. I'm offering a class on harvesting tequila. Bring 30 bucks, gloves, a wheelbarrow and a machete. I have a hose hooked up, so I'll be providing instruction AND water

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  21. Preaching to the choir, Pat. I'm just sorry it took me so long.

    Which urbanite might that be, John? We've got a class for that.

    Bandit, how sneaky.

    Trish, given your business, the possibilities are endless.

    PA, let's hold the class here because I have a couple of giant blue agaves that are ready to eat my house.



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  22. Oh, please let me in on this action. With Tommy and Louise supplying piles in the backyard and the two cats working it inside, we've got enough urbanite to provide an entire semester's worth of classes.

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  23. My urbanite is stuff that falls from trees in my back yard. They look like leaves, but they're brown. What's with that?

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  24. Dear Ms Altadenahiker,

    Albert is looking very kissable in the picture. Is he available? Your friend, Georgia x

    Ooops, p.s. The Typist says Cushion should have held all these classes the last 2 days. Pity he wasn't smart enough to think of it.

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  25. Dog says, "I don't think so..."

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  26. Susan, thanks, but no additional urbanite required out this way.

    John, how very odd. Must be a Big Sur phenomenon.

    Dear Georgia: Albert doesn't date much due to his B.O. issues. But if his class takes off, these might get resolved. (Though Ken Mac doesn't hold out much hope.)

    Des, indeed.

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  27. Wasn't this Tom Sawyer's way of getting his fence painted?

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  28. I would like to offer a master class for advanced students. It will involve a sponge, cleanser and my tub. Successful students can do an independent study cleaning my toilet.

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  29. You could start a new Learning By Doing education center -- just look at all the offers here in the comments to partner, to teach! What an opportunity!

    I can offer some back yard raccoon urbanite, as well as indoor feline urbanite. I could partner with Margaret and add my shower stall, grout cleaner, and several used toothbrushes.

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  30. You're right, K. This form of free enterprise has a long and proud history.

    Margaret and Mary, seems we have too many teachers and too few students.

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  31. brilliant...can I offer the post grad course once you're done???

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  32. brilliant...can I offer the post grad course once you're done???

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  33. I offer Class #1 to my teenagers every Friday and Saturday. They are suitably surly. And I'm glad to see Albert ready to go for Class #3! I am also available to come help supervise.

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  34. The last time I laughed this hard was when I visited Liar Town

    And this post is just another reason why I believe that Ranger and Albert are from the same litter: Ranger hates the tractor.

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  35. Oh boy! I LIKE this idea...my mind is reeling with the possibilities. To think that there's money to be made with all the poop Willow deposits around our yard is making me giddy.

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