Saturday, March 23, 2013

Miss Altadena: Contestant #3



This is Peanut. According to her Miss Altadena application, Peanut is a full-blooded Golden Retriever. To this we say, yes, like the Golden Retriever, she has a tongue and four legs. Peanut tips the scale at a little over 15 pounds, and is only a foot tall on a good day. We've submitted her purebred claim to our commission for further review.

Peanut, who hooked up with Janet, her owner, a year and a half ago, has been circumspect about her past. From what Janet has been able to piece together, Peanut graduated from high school and went on to enroll in a liberal arts program at a local community college. And then, as they say, the screen goes dark. A romance gone terribly, terribly wrong? Substance abuse? Who knows. But with the help of Janet, Peanut has pulled her life together.

Turn-on's: Barking at people I know really really well.

Turn-offs: Anyone who calls me Shorty.

Special Talents: Carpentry. "When Janet leaves the house, I carve and craft doggy doors. Check out my latest entry leading from the kitchen to the back yard. I also aspire to something more sophisticated; I'd like to sink my teeth into the trim around the windows and baseboards."

What say you, Judge?



When first we met, I found Peanut attractive (in spite of her name). Carpe Diem, I dove for her nethers, and she bit my nose. When I drew back -- as you would too, in a combination of hurt and confusion -- she bit my ankle. I'm sorry, call me punctilious, but Really! When one member of a pair lacks any sense of etiquette, where's the common ground? I tried to kick her to the curb, but she wouldn't let go.

Verdict: Pass

30 comments:

  1. Nethers you say? Nethers? Albert, you have been reading some literature that you had to hide under the cushion and it gave you ideas. No wonder the lass reacted a bit abruptly.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Such a sweet photo. Just have to leave a comment saying just that. Fun read too :).

    ReplyDelete
  3. Being called Shorty is a definite turn-off for me, too. But I have to concur with Albert's verdict on this one. Hopefully with more of Janet's TLC, Peanut can kick the biting habit ~ unless she has a penchant for the bad boy type.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ok, the physical description sounds like every female's nightmare-- petite, somewhat long hair-( always an eye catcher)... willing to try things but can't find her niche...Substance abuse? why think that at all? Seems like the attractive, petite ones always get a bad rap!. C'mon Al, give her a break! Better watch it or Boz will be hookin' up w/her and then where will you be????

    ReplyDelete
  5. Just shows to go you, photos are deceiving...
    Albert, I'm with you on this one.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hello, Albert, this is Peanut, the one with the soulful black eyes. (I’d rather not dwell on the legs and the nose-biting.)

    I just wanted you to know that I'm very sensitive to rejection from my days of living on the street. It takes a lot to put myself out there, and I thought very carefully before I applied for this position, since you’d already rejected two pretty great looking bitches. You’re so adorable though, I had to take the chance.

    And what do you know, I’m glad I did. I laughed (inside) all the way through. Maybe we can just be friends.

    ReplyDelete
  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Three contestants so far and no first place? Your standards may border on excessive.

    ReplyDelete
  9. @Peanut/Janet: You go girl! and I think Terri's comment hit the nail on the head.... Maybe someone is filling Albert's head w/what he should be looking for instead of him just taking his chances like the rest of us do!. :-) lol

    ReplyDelete
  10. Doris, he was born knowing.
    She's a charmer all right, LFP.
    Shell, her best friend is a big lug of a boxer, and she bosses him mercilessly.
    KPF, the substance abuse was just a rumor, perhaps started by Louise.
    Brenda, if I'm not mistaken, when Janet first found her, she put on this docile and helpless act.
    Peanut, perhaps if you and Albert met on neutral territory. We'll have to arrange that.
    Terri, I'm beginning to think we need to fly further afield, include a couple of other continents.

    ReplyDelete
  11. The gap in her timeline should give the judges some allowances in her behavior--

    ReplyDelete
  12. She's incredibly petite!!! However, she would do well to curb the biting for future contests...

    ReplyDelete
  13. Peanut sounds like top dog. Maybe that's how she survived in her former life.

    Tommy is jealous of the attention Louise and these other bitches are getting. He wants to know, would Albert consider changing teams so he can join the contest?

    ReplyDelete
  14. Oh, Albert I feel for you, being bitten twice and rejected (and twice shy??). But I feel for you, Peanut, too. It's not easy living on the streets when you're small in stature.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Oh, Albert. Maybe you are being too picky.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Susan, you expressed my thoughts exactly. Boz has two counts against him, as he's not a bitch (though he can be a pouty little @$$hole) and he's not from Altadena. But Tommy. Now, Tommy's a catch.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Abby would like to be considered, but she lives in Pasadena. Then again, Albert seems to have very high standards. Is he the George Clooney of the dog world?

    ReplyDelete
  18. Kelly would jump at a chance to compete...but the commute is just a bit too much...

    ReplyDelete
  19. Dakota's giving me that "you just had to move to Florida and now I can't compete and I'll never meet Albert" look. Even if we lived in Altadena, Albert would have to like a girl with attitude. Dakota's got that in spades.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I think a long distance relationship might be just the ticket. And gender isn't a particular concern of his, he fights with both sexes.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Oh, Albert, methinks thou art pickier than a canine has a right to be. Peanut looks lovely.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Albert, I think she's bad news. Peanut has possibilities, but you have your work cut out for you. And you'd best be seen at your local urgent care for that bite.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Shorties are ankle nippers by definition. Personally, I would go for a dog more your size, Albert. Someone like....me? For instance?

    ReplyDelete
  24. Oh, Albert, get your hoomin to cough uppa few cans of Alpo for some canine assertiveness training. Time to stand up to these crafty babes!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Considering the age difference - it would never have worked out

    ReplyDelete
  26. This is too hilarious. I love Peanut

    ReplyDelete
  27. Oh dear Albert, she bit your nose and she bit your ankle... I agree with you, she has not any sense of etiquette for sure, even she looks pretty.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Perhaps Peanut was looking for Albert's wooden leg. She's definitely a looker - those eyes! By your description and the luscious ears, I'd say she sounds more like a long hair dachshund than a retriever...

    ReplyDelete
  29. Oh Peanut! A winner on cuteness alone... No biting though!

    ReplyDelete