Monday, December 31, 2012
It's true, I can't handle the truth; apparently I haven't handled it for years. If an annual income of $400,000 qualifies one as a member of the middle class, then what am I?
Hold your horses, that's what is known as a rhetorical question.
But accepting this new parameter of the middle class actually explains a great many things -- for example, why friends give me canned goods for Christmas. And socks, Crisco, motor oil. String. It explains why everyone else I know gets scarves and caviar and I get flashlight batteries and bottled water.
And as a result of the national debate, well, I'm suddenly questioning many things I've taken for granted. What if the average height in America is 6'2" and I'm (gulp) short? On the upside, maybe the average weight is 200 pounds. Yay! I'm skinny; you practically can't see me when I stand sideways.
Anyway, I've decided not to hang out with my middle-class pals tonight. If things go in their favor, I'll miss a great party. But if things go in the other direction, they might want to borrow my duct tape, and that was a present from a dear friend of mine.
Labels: Fiscal Cliff