Thursday, June 2, 2011

Homeland Secure


We may not have a garden that looks like Monet's, but we're one step ahead of Germany. No E coli on my watch, trust me; I sample everything on a regular basis.



AOK on the apples, I tell Sergeant Karin. AOK on the loquats, cucumber leaves, blueberries, sorrel, pumpkins, strawberries, and green tomatoes. Oh yes, and those tiny heirloom squash, the ones you paid serious money for, after numerous tests I've found them safe.



I'm Private First Class Albert -- Squirrel and Raccoon Patrol, Vegetable and Fruit Tester.



As for the Financial Bananometer -- even I wouldn't try it, given current conditions.

10-4 and SNAFU. (If you're hankering for someone with my skills, let's talk. Not here. I freelance and have been known to take kibble under the table.)

28 comments:

  1. Albert, Germany needs you! I've booked you on the next flight to Hamburg. Your carer will just have to boil her vegetables and salads while you're away).

    (I'm worried by this. Was planning to visit my mother in Germany for her birthday later this month, but not sure what to do now).

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  2. What is your mother doing for vegetables, Bellis?

    I'm concerned about Albert. Doesn't all this stuff give him the runs? He must have quite the constitution.

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  4. ALBERT!!!






    wv: crates - draw your own conclusion

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  5. As you can tell from the last photo, P, he pays for the shiny black coat with gas. A price he doesn't keep to himself.

    (Bellis, will she visit you here? I heard about the symptoms of this E coli on PRI and it's awful.)

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  6. Could you bottle Private First Class Albert's natural gas, KB? Might help the Financial Bananometer sway in the right direction.

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  7. He's like Pinkertons, he never rests.

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  8. Petrea---Albert is a lab, not much will set him asunder, except perhaps chocolate...but save that for people testing!

    Just showed the bananometer to a friend who is a financial wiz---she thinks he has a market for the financial skills!

    As to the fruits and veggies...Albert, protecting them is different than EATING them! ;-)

    wv: emannah...veggies are emannah from heaven!

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  9. A worthy sentry. My Albert twin digs. I have to secure my garden from her!

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  10. Boy if we could train Albert and his companions to sniff out ecoli, that would be a serious improvement on the situation, wouldn't it!?

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  11. I wouldn’t trust too much on the bananameter if I was you, even if it’s green at the moment.

    You still have a few things to sort out in my opinion.

    I can only say: Don’t fuck with us, or we will punish you in another decade!

    I guess Phobe agree on this.

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  12. Always remember to secure your perimeter by feeding the K9's.

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  13. Tommy would like to get in on this patrol action.

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  14. Albert is no private! Albert is royalty!

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  15. Albert's all chuffed to have such friends. He's going to toast you all with some swiss chard.

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  16. Oh my sweet Albert. Hugs and smooches from Virg. Ask KB to get you some Beano.
    V

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  17. A lot fewer obnoxious tourists at your garden, although I bet Albert would happily sample the water lilies at Giverny!

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  18. My mother says she's only eating in restaurants, and only ordering cooked veg. She's been living this unhealthy life for quite a few years now and is, surprisingly, outliving all her compatriots. She doesn't want to visit me - too far to travel.

    Latest theory is that it comes from a water collection area on the north coast of Germany (Cuxhaven). The rapid person to person spread is scarey.

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  19. Albert, you're doing a great job. I'm more secure than ever in the health of our fine nation, or at least in the health of your corner of Pasadena.

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  20. Yes, hello. I'd like to hire PFC Albert to mitigate front porch raccoon gang takeover from the nefarious feral feline farm syndicate. We need crowd control, repeat. We need crowd control. Over.

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  21. Ohhh Albert!!! You're the man!!! Or should I say "you're the man-dog"! I'd be investing in a whole lot of probiotics now if I lived in Germany!!!

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  22. What’s your thrill ... I know mine.

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  23. I just hope this doesn't mean they're on the government dole.

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  24. When Ranger is on the run near the garden he likes to pee and then covers up the evidence with his snout. Albert needs to attend Special Ops school pronto.

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  25. In my case, MG, it's racoons indie backyard - not front.

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  26. Love your dog! He has kind eyes and adorable face!

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