Tuesday, March 22, 2011
My big baby of a house is wetting itself again. I can't tell you the unconventional steps I've taken to dry its bottom -- Plastic sheets, rubber booties.
Pass the powder while I continue.
I think with the melting of the polar icecaps and other uber-obvious signs of climate change, Los Angeles will become -- oh, god help us -- Seattle. Yes, you heard it here first. In a few years time, we'll all be eating fish chowder for breakfast and driving Suburus. We'll Rosemal the bathroom, drink Aquavit, and have an inexplicable urge to tour a Boeing factory.
We'll tell rain jokes.
What did the Seattle native say to the Pillsbury Doughboy?
What does daylight-saving time mean in Seattle?
An extra hour of rain.
A newcomer arrives in Seattle on a rainy day. He gets up the next day and it's raining. It rains the next day and the day after that. He sees a young kid on the street and asks, "Hey kid, does it ever stop raining around here?" The kid says, "How do I know? I'm only six."