Friday, January 14, 2011

Signs

Astronomer Parke Kunkle says that due to changes in the Earth's alignment the dates of many zodiac signs have changed ... In addition, there may be a 13th Zodiac sign: Ophiuchus. -- Huffington Post

It’s a bitter pill to swallow. All my life I’ve considered myself:

Determined and forceful
Emotional and intuitive
Powerful and passionate
Exciting and magnetic


And now I know I’m nothing but:

Diplomaitic and urbane
Romantic and charming
Easygoing and sociable
Idealistic and peaceable


To say nothing of

Indecisive and changeable
Gullible and easily infuenced
Flirtatious and self-indulgent


Sure, if you escaped Cancer to land in Leo, Mazal tov. But what about those who face the walk of shame from Scorpio to Libra ... to take a most personal example.

Imagine what it means to find your affairs weren’t passionate, just sociable. And that you weren't powerful and emotional, just gullible and easily influenced.

Intuitive? No, changeable.

And all the sex appeal and magnetism – gone, gone, gone.

Which explains so many things.

Including all those indecisions. Cobb Salad, Caesar Salad; Cobb, Caesar, Cobb, Caesar...

And then, in 1999, when my LA Times horoscope said “This is your day,” and I bought Enron -- well, someone or something must be liable.

And now that I want to hurl invectives, even lawsuits, at a higher authority, I can’t. Because I’m a fucking diplomatic.

24 comments:

  1. That last line just made this your funniest post ever! (and I'm not being diplomatic). How do you think I feel? Going from Virgo to ANYTHING else is simply not acceptable...

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  2. You'll always be a virgo to me.

    Glad you made it through the gauntlet, Pat. I checked the analytics, and there are two hours of non-set's here. For some of us, I guess, Blogger moved to the 13th sign.

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  3. Someone mentioned this at work today and I thought it sounded like a crock of hooey. But of course I had to check, and luckily I'm still a Virgo.

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  4. well, THAT just hoses up my whole concept of my f'd up family dynamics due to astrology!

    I'm still a Leo, thank G-d, no longer on the cusp of Virgo (well, there f'in goes my nice gentle, soft side!), but am married to a Cancer (wait, I've GOT cancer, didn't know I freekin married it!)! So much for our loud Leo outbursts together and our loud rockin makeup sex!

    My father moved to a Cap, my mother moved to Aquarius (ok, so I guess that STILL explains the messy divorce) and yet my father-in-law is a Taurus...which means based on my history, I should get along with him now?!?!? My mother-in-law is now a Pisces, instead of an Aries and my bro-in-law just turned into the "new" OPHIUCHUS...not sure what that means for him, oh he doesn't care, he's got a new daughter, who is a Sag (time will tell, tho she was days late).

    whew...will have to ponder this...am not so diplomatic about it---and don't like change...so keep your OPHIUCHUS to your self, ok?

    wv: oussocy...the second cousin to OPHIUCHUS, which, if you think THIS confuses people, imagine what oussocy will do?

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  5. Poor baby.

    I can't decide if those relegated to the 13th sign are fortunate or not; they have no popular mythology to fall back on, no horoscope to "read for entertainment value, only."

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  6. My feelings remain the same, KB;
    well, ummm, I don't know, let me think on that a spell...

    Jean's comment actually sounds hopeful, to me at least.

    It's a whole new world for the thirteeners, there are endless possibilities; how will they ever decide?

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  7. I knew they were going to move me. They warned me 40 years ago that this might happen, so I've kept a suitcase packed.

    WV: end bio id

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  8. Don't worry, I'll always think of you as secretive and obstinate.

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  9. I became a Gemini. Which suits me because I'm totally two different people.

    John's reply?

    Two?

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  10. Cobb. Cobb's got STUFF. Depth, complexity. And bacon. The Roman thing is just lettuce.

    I don't follow astrology, but people have said Geminis are a major pain, have said I fit the bill. Maybe I'm something else now.

    Love your closing oxymoron (sort of). Is it Zen? Maybe you should think twice about Jane Hirshfield. :)

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  11. Banjo, sounds like your sign hasn't changed. Oh wait, that was soooo Scorpio of me.

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  12. Whether something is science based or not, it can all change & we're left with having to take it all by faith in the end.

    Actually all of us live under multitudes of signs everyday. And some of us believe we are born under a bad sign.

    (imho)

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  13. So you harbor a certain disdain for Cancers?

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  14. Sign, sign everywhere a sign
    Blocking up the scenery
    Breakin' my mind

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivKuL3AMVv0

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  15. I defy anyone to call this Scorpio a Libra now... It may be astronomically correct, but I'm totally invested in Scorpio traits after 62 years and I ain't changing!

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  16. I love what my paper said about this: something to the effect that astrologers think this is just another attempt by other kinds of scientists to discredit astrology as a real science. Now, really, a 4 day long sun sign? Get real, dude. I'm still a Scorpio.

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  17. Oh, I see deep Scorpio denial here. Once we were the proud, the brave, the exotic. And now we're only nice.

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  18. I think those whose signs changed should read the old and the new. In hindsight, one the of dual horoscope will surely be right!

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  19. ok, so how many Scorpios do we have here? Or, former Scorpios?

    are you all just being bitter, or is it really just about becoming one with the Libra in you? ;-)

    and...what does this newly heavily cemented in Leo, versus Leo on the cusp of Virgo do? went out and played compassionate one today...not very Leo of me to do...humnnn


    wv: blemcom...the latest dotcom venture to fail? blemcom the "old" astrological signs!

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  20. Next thing you know, we'll find out they got our races and religions wrong too! Not to mention our heights.

    What if we woke up one morning and the standards of beauty had changed?

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  21. It's like a cosmic witness protection program.

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  22. So, I'm a Sagittarius now?

    "Sagittarius is optimistic and positive... they believe that no matter what has happened, something good is always around the corner and the sun will always shine again."

    Oh I don't think so.

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  23. LOL! As long as you're not mercurial.

    I don't know what the hell I am. I thought I was Pisces, but when I went to an astronomer in my 40's (long story, involving a divorce) she told me I was a combination of Aries, Taurus and Cancer. I said, "But I'm mostly Pisces, right?" Her reply was no. Not even one little fish scale.

    I left feeling thoroughly confused, so I just picked one I like and that's the one I read. For amusement only.

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