Thursday, October 28, 2010

Meaningful Moments

It's not like my Matrix is too good for a bumper sticker. But the good slogans, the indisputable ones, particularly if you'd been paying attention in science class -- "There's Only One Earth," for example -- are already taken. What more can I slap on my butt and share with the world?

Ok, ok, I admit, there's an element of fear. I realize, those who sport a bumper sticker have made a major commitment; It's not an easy step to take. First you have to get one. Then you have to pull the sticky tape off the back. And, I don't know, there are probably many considerations and contingencies. But brave people do it -- take the major risk every day. They dare to say, "Save Water." While I, I just drive with the naked bumper, too afraid to tell people to spay and neuter.

I'm getting closer. The other day, a car cut me off on the way between the 110 and the 5 freeway. This car had a bumper sticker, but I could only see a piece, a piece that said, "What would Je ... do." I can only assume it meant Jean, Jean Harlow. I don't need to tell you that made me slam on the brakes. Sorry for the pile up leading back to the 101, but this was important.

How different my life, all our lives if you consider the ripple effect, would have been if I'd only added Jean into the equation of my life's story. I sat there a very long time, long enough to watch the pile up extend to the 405.

And at that moment, I swore to myself and to Jean, one day my tail will wag a significant message. Maybe, this.

And when I take the ultimate step, you had best stay away from the 110 during rushhour. It means I'm loaded for bear. Or just loaded.

46 comments:

  1. Karin - I've got the perfect bumper sticker I will send to you. It's what many of the locals sport on their rear ends.

    Mammoth
    Please Don't Feed our Bears

    Put that on your behind and you'll be loaded for bears. I think.

    It's in the mail.

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  2. That made me smile and I really needed that today. Thanks, I really enjoy your post.

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  3. A young woman told me yesterday that she didn't know any Jeans, only Janes.

    I don't know what Jean Harlow would do in your situation, but she'd probably do it in silk charmeuse.

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  4. I think that bumper sticker could sell a million.

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  5. Your MUST do this...
    It may be the prize for best bumper sticker EVER...

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  6. That Jean Harlow quote would make a perfect bumper sticker. It would also keep guys from stealing or borrowing your car.

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  7. Guffaw, Terry! The ultimate anti-car-theft device. Don't none of you guys steal this idea; I'm holding the business end of this mascara wand, and I know how to use it.

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  8. Tell 'em, Jean! Hilarious post. I think you're onto something with those bumper stickers.

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  9. That bumper sticker would clear the road around you, Hiker.

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  10. By the way, if you're a man and feeling smug, I'm probably (definitely) a much better driver than you. We all have our distractions.

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  11. Unbelievable! I just responded to your comment at my place by referring to bumper stickers. (That’s a over-simplified, but true-ish).

    I’ve gone through the same internal debate, rationalizing that I’m not gonna convert anybody, so why risk vandalism. This fall the Wing Nuts have gotten so militant that I did put a sign in the yard for our Democrat Congressman, hoping to show the ‘hood that there’s still some humanity left of center. So far, no rocks through the window; besides, turns out we outnumber the Wing Nuts, to my surprise.

    That Harlow clip is hysterical.

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  12. I like reading other people's bumper stickers and sounding out their clever personalized license plates, but I don't think I'll ever deface my vehicle with one. Although, I did see one the other day that was tempting..."Go Home. Earth is Full."

    Happy Friday!

    P.S. Yes, that 'stuff' does happen up here and it's getting much, much worse. We have the Hell's Angels, Asian gangs, South American gangs, Italian gangs, etc., etc. and there have been a number of turf wars.

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  13. Banjo, I thought the party fighting in congress was bad, but the Wing Nuts out here (on both fringes) scare me more. I get the impression that's what Stewart and Colbert intend to mock/protest in Washington this weekend--Wing Nuts.

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  14. Yep, that bumper sticker would make the fast-guy drivers back off for sure - they'll think you're gonna whip them (40 lashes if you cut me up!). I did carry "Dog is my copilot" for a while, which came with membership of Huntington Dog Beach: Appropriate, but "Go Home, Earth is Full" is much better - where can I get one?

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  15. Karin,

    I come up with 'bumper sticker'-ish sayings often.

    Mostly I think of them as quirky -- well, smart and off-the-wall, but meaningful and not simply sophomoric.

    Like the Harlow clip you link to.

    Conceive of T-shirt slogans that way.

    Trulyfool

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  16. Did anyone ever run into a car/fail to swerve just 'cuz the bumper sticker they sported annoyed you?

    AH, yours would certainly keep your tail unharmed!

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  17. I'm catching up with your posts, finally. This makes me laugh out loud. You are a funny lady, lady.

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  18. Here's one I'd like to do: "THIS BUMPER STICKER HAS BEEN INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK"

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  19. As long as you brought it up, some for your derriere:

    SEAT RESERVED
    DON'T LOOK
    PURE MUSCLE
    NOT A BUMPER
    CHEEK TO CHEEK
    HANDS OFF

    I have others that should and will remain in my brain.

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  20. A while ago, I saw this one near Roanoake, Virginia, on an elderly car driven by a young woman of vaguely hippie/Goth persuasion: “Mean People Suck.”

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  21. Hey, that sticky tape is tricky, OK? And since I keep my cars for decades, my bumper stickers would not only be absurdly faded, but also so outdated that there'd be a whole generation of drivers saying, "Huh?"

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  22. Back in about 1970, friends had a daughter who was a bit bohemian. Her parents were very conservative and their adult daughter had, for a period of time, dropped out and lived in a commune. At the time you could have called her a hippie. The environmental movement was in its infancy. One day she showed up in an old, beat up station wagon. On the back bumper was a sticker with a finger pointed towards the exhaust pipe and the words, "This fucks up the air." Her poor mother was seen sitting on the pavement with a razor blade removing the bumper sticker.

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  23. Or this homemade job, from a female student on a clunker:
    "Save dope; plant a man."

    I should object; I can't.

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  24. I love these, you clever folks. And DB, I'll be stalking the mailbox.

    (Sara, hi! I'm going to high tail it over to your blog and see if you're living in Europe now.)

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  25. Petrea, I think you're right. Hope it does some good.

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  26. An all this thyme I thot u were referring two Jean Spitzer, The Painter of Bumper Stickers. These artists r always causing me problems!

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  27. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orbcz60kbGA

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  28. I love funny bumper stickers.

    I want to get one that says: "I break suddenly on yellow at traffic light cameras." But it's too long, and you had to have received the $400 ticket to get it.

    When I was playing tennis a lot, I found one that said, "It takes fuzzy balls to play tennis."

    Back when everyone had stickers that said "I [heart symbol] my [picture of dog]" I thought of one that said "I [spade symbol] my [picture of dog.] But before I got it into production, Gallagher was using it in his act.

    Haven't seen any good ones for awhile, but "What would Jean Harlow do?" would be nice.

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  29. I saw a good one today and thought of you. I've forgotten it now. I guess the whole point of bumper stickers is lost on me.

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  30. I'd like to have a bumper sticker that says "I hit a deer on this road" or "I got a speeding ticket here" so drivers on La Tuna Canyon Blvd would cut me some slack for my slow driving. Those two incidents cost me about a thousand dollars this year. Just thinking about it makes me feel like Jean Harlow!

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  31. Susan, just carry one saying "Avoid La Tuna Canyon." It's a funny road - a connector between civilized Glendale/La Crescenta and Cowboy Land.

    A colleague at work had a sticker that said "World peas starts at home," which I misinterpreted as a message that he needed to get on better with his wife. Clue: it was during the Bush era.

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  32. Did it turnip he didn't carrot all? Oh peas, don't wind me up. I see a pool of puns endive.

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  33. Bellis: I think the bumper sticker was "Visualize Whirled Peas"

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  34. Here's to a creative tail wag, KB. If I hear of a pile up on the 110, no further explanations will be necessary.

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  35. Back around 1964, there was Proposition 14 on the California ballot to allow discrimination in housing. The realtors were all for it. (Although thinking about it now, I'm not sure why they thought it would hurt their business.) Anyway, there were bumper stickers and buttons that said, "Would You Want Your Daughter to Marry a Realtor?"

    (Still have one of those buttons around here somewhere.)

    WV: ourat (He may be a rat but he's ourat!")

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  36. PS - Proposition 14 passed by a 2/3 majority as this cynical 14-year-old thought it would. But it was later ruled unconstitutional by the California Supreme Court.

    WV: anste. That must have given the realtors anste.

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  37. Proposition 14 overturned the Rumford Fair Housing Act that was passed in '63. When Prop 14 passed, Governor Pat Brown supported challenging in the courts. It wsa not only ruled unconstitutional by the California Supremes, but also by the U.S. Supreme Court. Brown's position may have cost him the governorship as he was defeated by Ronald Reagan in '66.

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  38. if you want to win friends and influence truckers, put this on your bumper

    "don't come knockin when my vans a rockin"

    Worked for my friend Cathy.

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  39. Matrix--sounds otherworldly, like the movie. With a bumper sticker --just sounds weird.

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  40. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPrDZJI5ugc

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  41. Never know where this stream of consciousness will go.

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  42. Heh! You've described our bumper sticker culture to a tee. Only in LA.

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  43. Thought of this post when in Fullerton today I was behind a very nice Buick Riviera with three bumper stickers all telling me how embryos are people too.

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  44. Very good. I like the clip. She was so beautiful, and she clearly would have had a bumper loaded down with gluey resin.

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