Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Necks Us



I don’t want to sound shallow or anything, but when I saw the photo of Tipper and Al announcing their divorce, all that struck me was the size of their gargantuan necks. What kind of giant sequoia trunks must their offspring shoulder?

I find it better when the DNA from each parent forms complementary characteristics rather than dominant ones. For example, from my father I inherited over-sensitivity and a short temper; from my mother self-absorption. That means that while a mild insult from you can cut me to the quick, it’s likely I'm not listening.

Of course, my parents did saddle me with at least one form of gigantic neck -- a toss-up, really, between terminal, paralyzing anxiety and an insatiable appetite for blue cheese on Triscuits.

How does this relate to my new interest in bird watching? Back to the self-absorption issue -- anything that gets me out of my head is like a vacation.

Bellis introduced me to this birding group from Cal Tech, and they haven't kicked me out yet. Not when I constantly shout "Where?" to their "There!" Or even the time I said, "I don't see anything but an old crow."

Or maybe they did kick me out, and I just wasn’t listening.

43 comments:

  1. Very, very funny, Karin. Another classic line, but there seem to be several today:

    "That means that while a mild insult from you can cut me to the quick, it’s likely I'm not listening."

    The Gore's are getting a divorce? That's a blog in itself. How can that be? I mean, what is there to leave? Did one of them suddenly discover something that's been well hidden for all these years?

    WV: podsout. Sounds like the emotion one would feel when they tried to insult you and realized you weren't paying attention. Or maybe it's something you sprinkle on roses. Or maybe it's a command in the music-listening army: Ten-hup. Pods- out. Plug-In. Go!

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  2. Bird watching always reminds me of Miss Jane from the Beverly Hillbillies, but it looks like your group isn't wearing any special get-up.

    A few years ago I went to a special screening of An Inconvenient Truth. While Bon Jovi was performing, I could see Al trying to nuzzle with Tipper on the side stage. She was trying to take photos, looked annoyed and pushed him away. Foreshadowing?

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  3. If the Gore's divorce, who gets the Internet?

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  4. What sort of binocular would you recommend? Not brand, but features I guess. For birding ...

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  5. Must be a hell of a bird if they have to keep it behind a chainlink fence.

    I'm with Groucho '… I wouldn't want to belong to any club that would have me as a member'

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  6. Ha! I remember that, Susan. No this group is very stylish. Earl, fodder. Julie, Bellis can tell us, she's the expert. Wayne, behind the fence, there's a crane.

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  7. Where the hell have I been? Tipper and Al are split? I can deal with that. What I really want to know is .....has Elizabeth Edwards taken a butcher knife to John yet???

    KB,
    Priceless stuff here. I pray my daughters don't weigh in here. I"m done for.
    V

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  8. If we ever get around to meeting, remind me never to drink anything around you. I'm sure to snort it through my nose while laughing. Another great one, Karin.

    Regarding the Gores calling it quits after 40(!) years, I'm reminded of the joke about a 95-year-old couple who goes to a lawyer to get a divorce. He asks why they want to get divorced at this late stage of the game. Turns out they always wanted a divorce--they were just waiting for the kids to die.

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  9. Love that joke, Terry B.

    Waiting for the other shoe to drop: It's now coming out that Al Gore secretly smiled at a group of high-school cheerleaders at a mall recently.

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  10. Terry B, great joke. Earl, I second your choice for sentence appreciation. Wow.

    Especially funny this time, AH, maybe because birds and self-absorption are two favorite topics of mine. If you really are self-absorbed, I hope you give yourself points for realizing it—that strikes me as so unusual that it makes me wonder about the accuracy of your confession.

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  11. Mr. Earl, you mean Gore was bird watching?

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  13. Okay, this one seriously has me giggling out loud. You are an absolute riot. A rare bird. I simply adore you. There, I said it. *wink*

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  14. Is the fence to keep the birders out or the birds in?

    Your thoughts are so funny, Karin! As always!!

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  15. And as soon as I saw your title, I wondered "Where's Lexis?"

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  16. When I'm with my birding friends I never see what they see. They told me to look up and down instead of straight on. So now I look like a bobble head who still doesn't see what they see.

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  17. Well crap, now I know why I am the way I am........are you sure we're not related?

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  18. Come to think of it, yesterday I believe they tried to ditch me twice.

    Several of you are amazing bird photogs -- any suggestions for Julie re: binocs? So far I'm keeping my investment to a minimum and use a pair I got for free somewhere.

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  19. Every fault of Miss J's comes her ne'er do well father... all her best qualities were inherited from her sainted Mother. Thanks for the cheekbones, Ma!

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  20. I enjoy bird watching immensely. I do it a little differently. I fill the bird feeders, make a cocktail and go out on my deck, sit and wait. The birds come to me!

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  21. They may have kicked you out for photographing them from the back side. Some folks consider that their gargantuan neck.

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  22. One has to wunder what is really going on here. A great Zen post!!

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  23. Don't worry, they never throw anyone out of the Caltech bird group. Everyone's welcome.
    http://birdwalks.caltech.edu/bird_data/current_walk_report.htm

    Karin, you see birds really well without any binoculars at all, better than I do with my new expensive Bushnells. They're so good at magnifying that I make embarrassing mistakes - like seeing a huge wombat in a eucalyptus tree when it was only a squirrel. Thank goodness I wasn't with the birders at the time.

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  24. I had the best time spying on wild parrots take baths yesterday. They got into this heated argument with a crow. It was riveting.

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  25. you would notice that. !!!!!!

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  26. What, the Caltech club doesn't provide everyone with pith helmets?

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  27. You're just too much fun and I'll bet those CalTechies love birding with you.

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  28. Well, by song, I can now tell the difference between wren, sparrow, finch, and phoebe.

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  29. You have so many interests and talents my friend. I'm blessed to know you.
    Virg

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  30. Oh, I'm so glad I finally made it. KB, you delight me. Happy bird watching. My Ella loves the past-time.

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  31. This one's a laugh-out-loud hoot. (That's a bird call, right?) Comments, too. I don't even want to talk about what I inherited.

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  32. What's the world coming to? The Gores get divorced after 40 years, but Bill and Hillary are still married?

    Dennis Miller said it was caused by Global Cooling.

    I understand that friends of theirs have said that they've become distant after Gore lost the 2000 election. Now there's something else to blame on Bush.

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  33. If you're going to quote Fox, at least you chose the only guy there with a brain. I often listen to Dennis Miller on my way back from the stables at night; I can totally disagree with him, but he makes me laugh and laugh.

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  34. Dennis Miller is on 870 KRLA every evening from 6-9. It's a tape delay from a radio show he broadcasts in the morning. He's good and talks about many issues beyond politics including movies and sports. He often has some of his old SNL buddies on as guests.

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  35. Does anyone even care what Al Gore is doing any more? I find it hard to pay attention to someone who doesn't practice what he preaches: we should all ride bicycles while he travels on his private jet. So go watch the birds already, and, like me, when the kiddos ask what kind of bird it was, say, "The flying kind!"

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  36. An acquaintance volunteered to drive Al Gore to a dinner in Beverly Hills. Gore flew in to LAX and took a limo to a location a few miles a way from the dinner where he switched cars and rode the final part of the trip in a Prius. He got a huge ovation when he arrived at the hotel in a Prius.

    Hypocrisy at it's finest.

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  37. I am so disappointed to hear that. But from you, dbdubya--well, you're a reliable source.

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  38. I don't think anything a politician says or does (including those running for office who claim they're not politicians) could surprise me or anyone else anymore. That doesn't mean the coattail they're riding (or flying) is not a valid concern -- it just obscures the message.

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  39. wren, finch, sparrow ... and phoebe ... that is your dog, right?

    Got a bead on a pair of 'nocs ... 10x42 seems to be a goer ... Bushnells put a hole in my pocket so something a wee cheaper ... taa ...

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  40. A few eyars ago, my husband had an unscheduled dinner with the Gores in Hawaii - they were going up Mauna Kea (I think he was researching his film) and wanted to meet some astronomers. Al only talked about himself, and wasn't interested in anyone else's work, while Tipper hung onto every word my husband said and was really nice. I don't her neck had reached the tree trunk stage by then, but Al already had a giant redwood on his shoulders.

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  41. Isn't there a line something about I'd never join a club that would have me as a member? Be careful, birders are a wild breed - they can get carried away.

    Uh-oh global cooling in the Gore household. That famous kiss of theirs at the 2000 DNC was as graceful and romantic as two pimply adolescents trying to neck while standing on ice barefoot with blindfolds. Al, you're no Casanova.

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