Saturday, April 17, 2010

I Beg You



Dogs and cats are a lurking household danger, according to a new report showing that pets cause all kinds of injuries related to falls.

…Dogs are the biggest hazard. Causes of injuries include "tripped while crossing the street with my dog," "walking dog and fell up steps," and "fainted while training my dog."
–Live Science Magazine

I don’t doubt that last one a bit. Just the other day, I broke an empty bottle of scotch when I crashed face down on the floor. Yes, it was all Albert’s fault. I’d been trying to teach him to sit.

33 comments:

  1. I tend to think it was Albert barking to you, "Sit, I Beg You."

    (Petrea, see what I mean about having a Coffee Tree or similar next door is preventive medicine)

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  2. Tragedy averted: the bottle was empty.

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  3. I wonder...if the empty bottle was the reason for your fall. In other words, "how long had it been empty?"

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  4. I worry - did Albert get cut by the glass?

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  5. Next time maybe reward him with dog biscuits instead of scotch. That would probably be safer. Or were you over-rewarding yourself for trying to help him improve himself? I rather suspect the latter.

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  6. Apparently you have not been keeping up with your scientific journals. If you stumble or pass out, blame the pet.

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  7. I'm here in a state of repose with three dogs - we're all laughing!

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  8. I immediately thought two things: Statistics always lie and so do drunks...

    I'm visiting you from another blog - I got to that blog from somewhere else. Now I'm lost.

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  9. Oh, Albert...I hear ya, big fella. Celine would tell you that I'm always getting in her way too. Constant near misses involving big feet (mine) and innocent bystanders (her).

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  10. Thank goodness it was an empty bottle of Scotch. Albert might have been part of the clean-up crew and he might never have gotten back up.

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  11. Good thing you weren't trying to teach him to roll over.

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  12. This is a subject near and dear to my heart. I've been working diligently to train Ranger Dog to be more obedient, not pull on the lead, etc. He's coming around, I can suck my bourbon "bottle" almost without a second thought. Good thing though that cats can slide on travertine.

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  13. hee-hee-hee-hee -- oopsie! Damn you, Albert.

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  14. And all these years I've used milkbones as a training reward. Silly me!

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  15. So if I'm understanding correctly, based on Albert's expression, he was the one who emptied the scotch bottle?

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  16. Mmm ... the expression is a bit of a clue ...

    WV = myclapap

    Yer honor, myclapap was playing up and THAT's why I fell over with the empty bottle of scotch.

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  17. i think albert's had one too many

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  18. It's no fair that you dog owners (and servants) have an endless array of fetching, comic photos and stories. That first shot is a doozie.

    On the other hand, falling face down on a bottle isn't all that comic. Or is it? Maybe cut back on the Keystone Cops imitations? Or are you too young, limber, and tough to be bothered?

    How about a federal regulation that pet owners must wear helmets every minute they're not lying down?

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  19. Banjo, a helmet law for pet owners. Brilliant. I feel a Monty Python sketch coming on.

    WV: Dogil. Julie has a dogil named clapap.

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  20. Looks like Albert joined you on the sauce in the first photo. On the second photo he appears to have eaten the glass.

    Dog torture — Tova's reporting this to the authorities.

    wv: horthon

    as in Horton hears a hoot

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  21. In the second it was suppopsed to look like an evil smile, but it might be mistaken for constipation.

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  22. An evil smile mistaken for constipation. Don't you hate it when that happens?

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  23. Spot on, dear Hiker. Your botanic identification skills reign supreme. I guess probably a fairly common succulent. The flower is a knock-out.

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  24. Well I have heard scotch is a great reward for training. I wonder what I could teach my cats if I offered scotch... hmmm. ;)

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  25. Was it Black and White whisky you were training him with? It's made for Scottish terriers, not labs. No wonder Albert tripped you up.

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  26. LOL...gotta tell you that animals ARE dangerous. A good number of my recent injuries are animal related. Tho, rarely is scotch involved. And yes, at least the bottle was empty, that'd be a tragedy had it not been dry!

    I think the first pic is Albert VERY happy with himself (or alternatively, drunk as a skunk) and the second, snarling that it is NOT his fault you stumbled your way to the ground after all that scotch! how DARE you blame me mommy! ala the fart blame game! then we'd be on to the constipation thing and well, there ya go!

    I do have to say, dogs do have a sweet tooth, many LIKE to try to sneak a drink or two if I leave a glass near enough to where they can lap it up. Scotch is a good training tool, straight up it'll teach them not to sip out of my glass! Tequila tends to remind them the next morning not to take too many shots!

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  27. WHO DELETED MY COMMENT? I swear. Now I'll have to go conjur up another one. Maybe I'll just have a drink and forget you all.
    V

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  28. Who would dare delete Ms. V's comment? I'm blaming Albert.

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  29. I can't hear any of you, my helmet's too tight.

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  30. Albert Dahlin, how do you feel about bourbon? When I get there you and I can chat. Smooches,
    Virg

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  31. You almost didn't need to write anything, the photos are so great.

    I thought pets were supposed to be good for you. You know, combating loneliness and all that. I guess when you combat loneliness with whiskey you don't need whiskers too.

    Hiker, you have to use WV on your own blog? I don't think I have to use WV on mine, do I? Now I can't remember because I was training Boz today.

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  32. Seem's like he taught you. Sort of.

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