Thursday, January 21, 2010

It's not me, it's you



Powerful weather is like a really great F---love. After the first wonderful night, it’s just repetition, all noise, leaks and drainage problems. Yes, I know we whooped it up yesterday, but now I’d really rather go out for a run or see my friends. I’m starting to worry about the aftermath, the repercussions. For some reason I forgot how much laundry was involved. Dirty should remain a figure of speech.

I’m tired, and you won’t let me sleep. And now you say you’re coming back tomorrow. And tomorrow. For your future reference, pounding on the door is not cute. I’m already planning an exit strategy; it may require the authorities.



And just so you know, my dogs don’t like you either.

42 comments:

  1. I just spewed my tea out of my nose and possibly harmed my netbook keyboard.

    You are f---- ing hilarious.

    I'm calling KPCC and demanding they give you a show!

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  2. I don't understand why we are getting rain, too!!! The clouds should be totally depleted after leaving Calif. (I need more about your painting your arm cast with fingernail polish. COOL! And your arm was broken during the Olympics! Remind me which sports?).

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  3. Oh, da babies! They look spooked.
    I can calm them-I'll sing the puppie song!

    ( in falsetto )
    "Oh, the puppies, oh, the puppies, I'll sing you the puppie songggg-
    Oh, the puppies, Oh, my puppies,
    this storm won't last that longgg"
    ( EVERYBODY SING! )
    " oh, the puppies...

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  4. I really want to come visit you guys (note I said, "You guys, and not ya'lll) but I will need a little help so I can schedule between disasters. All this makes me want to open my home as a shelter for the Cali blog delegation for ..........most of the year. Well can I at least have the Phoebster and Al???

    My WV is IGGEA.....is that a good iggea? Wait, I want to go to Atlanta so I can shop at IGGEA!

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  5. It'll all come out in the wash.

    GG

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  6. I'm hearing wild things about the weather in CA. Your dogs look so put out. I shouldn't be snickering, but this post and photo were just too funny :D

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  7. Hahaha, you are amazing.

    I'm still infatuated with the rain. Will probably stop that tomorrow.

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  8. The rain hasn't changed you.
    You're still naughty and nice.

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  9. The street photo is amazing, and your writing is hysterical.

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  10. Oooooh!
    wv sluxing

    Love, love, love the rain photo.

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  12. The trophet was arrested after she went sluxing in the rain...when she arrived at the jail she was worido that she would run into the Frito Bandito...whom she hoped was at home to let the dogs out when it stopped raining...

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  13. They say if a couple puts a bean in a jar every time they make love before marriage (aka 'commitment'), and take one out every time after marriage... the jar will never be empty.

    Sounds like you fast-forwarded on this one.

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  14. Oh Both the dogs are so beautiful !! I loved the black one more !! Great ..

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  15. I went out and purchased a lepard print umbrella and am singing in the rain in style. Imagine the dogs wouldn't like it.

    Did you see that gorgeous cloud cover late Tuesday afternoon? It was to the east of San Gabriel Blvd and so low it must of enclosed Foothill blvd. I've never seen anything like it. If that end of town only had some kind of high spot to have gotten a better sense of it.

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  16. You are hilarious, KB! As for Albert and Phoebe ~ they remind me of Gomez and Morticia Addams. Just in that photo, of course...

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  17. did you see the time on my post 4:44? For the last hour I've been listening to one of the birds from Highland Park circling. A wreck on the Arroyo Freeway or a swift water rescue is taking place.

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  18. I was so excited to be sluxing I forget to say how hysterical your "piece" is, KB.

    wv unitess
    This must be what The Chieftess does.

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  19. It whooped it up over here too. Sorry, you've been two timed.

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  20. Such a funny yet fitting analogy.

    Betty was freaking out last night, but she was the only one who could hear thunder.

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  21. It looks you are right in the middle of a thunderstorm there.
    Together with one ghost? ...or two?

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  22. Trade ya?? You can have my ice, I'll take your rain and raise you some fog and snow!

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  23. "Dirty should remain a figure of speech" is a title in search of a poem. Brilliant.

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  24. memo: never, never, NEVER drink coffee and read the 'Hiker at the same time!!

    And in my experience, the pounding on the door is answered by the REAL boyfriend she neglected to tell you about, the one who just got out on parole.

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  25. OOOps!!! I forgot to mention in my last post (probably because it was well into the morning last night) that my WV was worido!!!

    Sage...would the real boyfriend she didn't tell us about who just got out on parole be the Frito Bandito????

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  26. Chieftess, you're rivaling Paula in your elegant turn of the WV.

    God, I got all zipped up to see the disaster at the stables, and now it's raining again. Think I'll go see the disaster at Trader Joe's instead.

    I think we Altadanish should stick together in these perilous times. Those who are good with the shovel and ladder, help clear sludge and raingutters. I'll bring potato chips.

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  27. Last night, Amie Dog was farting up a storm, and hadn't been outside to use the facilities in awhile. So she went to the backyard for 5 minutes, until the wind kicked up, at which time she scaled the fence like a ninja and took off running.

    Poor Ryan chased her all over the neighborhood in the dark & pouring rain, until she came home an hour later by herself.

    And then I looked up from my wine and dinner with Yakpate to discover his 10 missed calls. That's some fine companion animal stewardship, there!

    Regardless, if the storm is still here tonight, she's crapping on a newspaper in the garage.

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  28. One day soon the rain will stop, the skies will be blue, the days long. We just have to hold on till then.

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  29. Another one of yourgreat lines that will never leave my brain...
    Fabulously over the top (of the dam).

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  30. PS - I see on your profile a new occupation - you bet your sweet a__ you are a writer.

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  31. You are unfailingly funny, my friend. Well, except when you're writing serious stuff. Then you're unfailingly serious.

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  32. San Diego Farmgirl...I can relate to your distress re: Amy dog...our Daisy girl has been quite ripe since she's been on antibiotics!!! (which exactly coincided with the onset of the rain!!!)

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  33. I have to come back often and reread to get all the little nuances I miss the first few times.

    "it's all noise, leaks and drainage problems". Well I guess when you've had a....ahemmm, long dry spell, you manage to forget some of those little details!

    The Trophet

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  34. Chieftess: Amie is much luckier than Sweet Daisy. Her flatulence was most likely caused by leftover turkey!

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  35. Boy did i need your brand of humor today! Nearly followed Laurie with spewing tea!

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  36. How can I not believe the good judgment of those dogs.

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  38. I'm late. Sorry. This is delightful (not sorry it's delightful). But how're you gonna get that photo on the radio?

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  39. Trophet = Strumpet + trollop. Trophets ROCK and ROLL...in the hay! :)

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  40. Yikes. I feel your pain, soggy as it may be. We're having unseasonably dry & sunny weather this year. Normally, our heavy clouds hang so low we can reach up and touch them and rain? Don't get me started. All this lovely weather is causing it's own set of problems up here though...the Winter Olympics start next month and we have no snow. Nary a speck. I've heard that the organizers are making plans to truck snow in for the events...

    Mother Nature...wicked.

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