Monday, December 7, 2009

Homesick


Admittedly, my house needs a little work. Some roof patching; perhaps a whole new roof. Lateral sewers. Then there’s the cosmetic stuff. The three-foot hole in the drywall by the bedroom that occurred when – well, I don’t think I’ll tell you how that happened. And about the kitchen remodel, we won’t be breaking ground during this administration.



One may think dogs, or children, or even grown men and women whine, but that’s nothing compared to the irritating, insistent, incessant sniffling of a house. “My head hurts, I’ve got a draft, My feet are wet, There’s a pest in my pants.” Wah, wah, wah.



Dear God, why did I ever leave the league of renters? Sure, I felt pretty smug about it three years ago, when my house had appreciated four-fold in 6 years, but that unfolded one quick year later.

It’s true, if you lock in your mortgage, the basic monthly rate never goes up, but everything else does. Insurance, taxes, utilities. And you get the added bonus of personally dealing with termites, dry rot, paint, plumbing, and the band of merry thieves each problem spawns. And it never ends, I tell you, it never fucking ends.

Albert the Lab got one of his semi-annual bladder infections, so I called the vet and asked to renew the antibiotic prescription. They agreed, but only if I collected and delivered his urine sample. For a dog that doesn’t usually care where he slings his pee or who knows about it, he got strangely shy as I chased him around the yard with a Merry Noel teacup.

In between rounds, I took a seat on the back steps, the ones that are in need of some carpentry and reinforcement. I thought about all the other things we chase in life that we really don't want. We chase them because someone told us to, or we didn’t have time to think it through properly. I’d put a high-paying stressful job in that category. And to that, add a devastatingly handsome husband or two, Labrador piss, and a small circa 1923 house.

41 comments:

  1. Yeah, I junked the ownership route in 2005 and have not regretted it since. Well, maybe a tidge every time I have to move, but hey, initially I welcomed that concept as freedom.

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  2. Get yourself a joiner and dogcatcher,……or something!

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  3. Please stop making me think as I laugh.

    (Really, tho, this is one of your best.)

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  4. Two husband(s)? Really? Devastatingly handsome doesn't surprise me. You do keep your cards close to your chest.

    Re: cabin....that's the one

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  5. Oh boy, do I hear you! I just got assessed a whopping $30,000 for work we have to do to our condo complex because of water egress. *sigh*

    A devastatingly handsome husband OR a high paying job might take the sting out of it. I'd take either really, at this point.

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  6. I don't think they'll be featuring this puppy on The Tiny House Blog anytime soon. They're more about completion...I'll bet it was swweet and cozy when it was all of a piece, though.

    I can't comment on the house repairs, I'm kinda numb on that subject.

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  7. Dog pee in a cup to things we chase because we're told to. I'd never thought of it that way.

    "Darling, I realize that this marriage is just dog pee in a cup."

    Karin, you poor dear. I knew Altadena was not quite South Pasadena, but I had no idea about the house.

    So how do you get a dog to pee in a cup?

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  8. You folks are so spoiled. My house has lots of natural light, and there's nothing that a few nails and some putty won't fix.

    I am thinking of taking up a collection for Carolynn, however.

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  9. Stressful jobs. And now it sounds like a stressful day, or a few. Is it too early to feel stressed about the jolly, silvery, hoe hoe hoe holiday season? Tell me when I get to. But if you wait too long, you may have to chase me around with a tea cup.

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  10. So, how's the weather today in Norway?

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  11. Not just a cup, but a Merry Noel cup.
    This post plus Margaret's re: Luck have me thinking. Am I missing some point? I am lucky with owning houses - and make $$ without really trying. So maybe I should just put some paint on my house instead of on those canvasses that have been sitting there ??

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  12. GIrl, I hear ya. I just figured out the other night that the reason I awaken in the night and can't get back to sleep for hours is usually..............money stress for the most part. It's all a trade off KB, just a trade off.
    V

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  13. And may I propose a merry Noël toast to our dear, dear friend Albert? Cheers!!

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  14. V: Can't sleep? Call the South Pasadena Sandman!

    AH: Is it kind of like milking a cow? ... shudder....

    V: No toast for Albert until we test what's in that cup!

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  15. I like the metaphor, though I've found comfort in my house--so far. I suppose if the roof came crashing in tonight I'd wish it were someone else's responsibility.

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  16. Does that mean you'll all be refusing my eggnog if I serve it in Merry Noel cups?

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  17. Oh. My.
    All right, it's cold, and it's December. Mix yourself a hot toddy, light the kindling, visible in every photo, and sit back and enjoy the burn--

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  18. That cabin--think about it. That's a real log cabin, innit? I mean jeez louise.

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  19. I'm just going to say that this is an awfully clever piece of writing. The sniffling house and it's complaints is especially unique. Well done.

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  20. Yah, looks like a cabin up nort' to da lake, dere.

    Once I mended some drywall in a rental where a coed's butt had, "made an imprint" in a wall.
    I cut out the piece and saved it for the student living there.
    Art comes in many forms.

    Go ahead. Ask me anything about drywall.

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  21. Bandit, let's talk. You could walk me thru this repair long distance and we might have an interesting post, ja?

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  22. I don't know whether to rescue you or Albert.

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  23. Agree, she is very clever, MF. I feel for Albert deLab & Phoebe deBoxher as they try to keep her as their live-in servant. Can you believe she complains about their doggy house?

    I can tell you it's not ez for us K9s to keep a homo sapien for a servant, or a pet.

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  24. Bandit,
    What's the best way to hang mirrors and photos on drywall?

    wv matediti

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  25. Oh, KB, thank you~ I laughed and laughed and laughed ~ and I won't tell you what I did when I read about Albert and his Merry Noel teacup. Then I felt bad at laughing ~ perhaps you can try not to make us laugh when describing your misfortunes?

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  26. Ja! You betcha, KB.

    Mirrors and drywall, huh?
    Ain't that the kinda 'ting that got the 'hiker in the trouble in the first place?
    I mean, just look at the place...

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  27. I have to admit your post is awful interesting. Yeah?

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  28. Hmm . . . this is a timely warning. We just closed on our first house and began tearing out stuff.

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  29. The house is a wonderful fixer-upper. Santa has numerous entry points and the air is always fresh. It's the perfect home for any 'Yuppie' couple starting out (or finishing up).

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  30. CP: I can tell you, it's not easy for anyone here!

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  31. If thinking of selling your home, ask for B Squared by name.

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  32. Love the house, especially what you did with the deck! Oscar Wilde opined that the gods torture us by giving us what we want.

    What's this about stressful, high paying jobs?

    I'd give a lot to have been there watching you chase the lab with a tea cup.

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  33. Mr. E,
    Does the So Pas Sandman speak French? :)
    V

    I SWEAR my wv is WECUP. Albert , come!!!

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  34. V: He speaks a more universal language.

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  35. Thanks Lincoln. The deck was my own design. And E, what could be more universal and convivial than WeCup?

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  36. For my photo artist friends, click on Lincoln's site. Some of his work just knocks me out.

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  37. Ah yes, I've passed Lincoln's way before. Incredible stuff.

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  38. If I may suggest a few colours to cheer the place up?

    No... perhaps not!

    Sunshine Coast Daily Photo - Australia

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