Monday, November 30, 2009
Even if you don’t play golf, everyone should own at least one golf club. In fact, you may not be aware of this, but the golf club was actually invented way before the sport of golf itself. So many people received golf clubs as Christmas presents and housewarming gifts, that some enterprising soul designed a game around an accumulated collection.
Way before there were links in Scotland, golf clubs beat the bushes and flushed out game, but one needn’t go so far back as that. As recently as the last century, golf clubs have been used to: Scratch backs, floss rhinos, clear drains. It’s also handy as a rose trellis, pool cue, nose-hair remover, and opener for those stubborn pickle jars (hence the nickname: Widow’s Helper).
Of course, most importantly, the golf club is a safety device, famous for saving countless people from quicksand, drunken pool parties, and 20-story suicide attempts.
And now I’ve learned that, in case of a car accident, reach for the club. Leave it to Volvo. You’re going to laugh, but I would have called 911. How many lives have been lost to such ignorance? It’s probably in the Saab manual as well, but if you plan to rescue someone from a dented SUV, reach for the trusty golf club and crush the car’s back window before taking any further action.
Though no scientist, I'm guessing this quickly releases the deadly fumes.
So you can keep your bandages, and CPR, and first-aid kit. Next time I hear someone shout, "Help, I've fallen and I can't get up," I know what I'll grab.
Labels: Tiger Woods