Friday, November 20, 2009

We get letters



It’s been a long time since I posted a homestead update. Floods of email arrive daily – how are the crops, what are you growing, what are you wearing ... I’m gratified my little project has generated so much interest and enthusiasm.

Oddly, and perhaps you’ve noticed, my most avid fans prefer to comment anonymously. This, from Anon #52, “Are you planting lettuce this year? PS, I want to suck your toes.” This from Anon #173, “Thought you’d like to know that’s not a carrot in my pocket.” Here’s another: “Will you come over and squeeze my tomatoes?” (Oh wait, that's from my Uncle Henry in West Virginia.)

Anyway, on and on. And I think this just goes to prove, though there are lots of informative organic gardening books and pamphlets on the market, nothing beats my own little chatty account and shared experiences.

I’m not going to say things have been a failure this year; we’ve decided to go for quality rather than quantity. Surely there’s a poem out there about how one perfect Damask rose affords more pleasure than a field of hybrids from Home Depot. In that vein, one perfectly shaped mescalun leaf is more beautiful than a huge plot of whatever it is my neighbor seems to be fiddling with. I don’t know about you, but I’d hate to have to spend as much time as he does picking produce. And clearly I won't have to.



Feed the stomach at McDonalds, that’s my advice. My little plot will feed the soul.

Must fly. Anonymous #568 just asked whether a banana is just a banana. Philosophy is not my strongpoint, but I’m sure my county extension agent knows the answer.

33 comments:

  1. Wanda, this is serious. As always, I don’t know what to say. Do you understand me.

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  2. Sorry,

    I meant Vanda.

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  3. I was reading this from the computer resource center at City of Hope and laughed out loud several times. I know because I got the stink eye from my neighbor.

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  4. Vanna?? Is that you?

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  5. You never did did get back to me on that.

    #52

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  6. You've been taking gardening lessons from me. We got two edible tomatoes this year out of seven plants.

    Yes, they were tomato plants.

    Hey. It's a recession.

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  7. I talked to my gardening guru who grows enough on her patio to feed a small country about our mesclun of a gardening season. She said she didn't have a good season either and that everyone's trying to figure out why it's been such a bad year. At least you got this witty post out of it. Lucky us.

    Also, I think Anonymous might be vegan (mostly).

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  8. So, what are you wearing?

    signed, Anon

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  9. #52, I'm busy, but Uncle Henry might have some free time.

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  10. Wanna peel that banana?

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  11. Got me snorting from laughter. Oh, wait, it may be from too much McD's. Super funny, cute little, bitty plants, nice to see THE AGENT anytime.

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  12. I had a last minute cancellation, so I'm open at 3 p.m. on Saturday.

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  13. You know, Hiker, if you eat enough McDonald's it'll probably take care of your anonymous toe-sucker problem.

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  14. Dear Anonymous,

    Start with words. Then you can move up.


    One banana is a state of mind, two bananas are a movement, three bananas - in unison - are a bushel.

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  15. Nice tip.

    Dear……I understand you.

    You are so lovely to me.

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  16. There goes the coffee all over the my monitor again! I guess I'll be the one to get up my nerve and ask about the damn banana plant. I'm nervous about the answer. But your CEO appears to have not a care in world so maybe there has been an economic upturn??

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  17. Looks like you're growing a pretty nice garnish.

    GG

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  18. If memory serves, me it was you begging to hold my well endowed size eleven

    #52

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  19. Can you send me #52's e-mail address?

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  20. No, but I can send you Uncle Henry's.

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  21. How old is Uncle Henry? Is he single? Is he rich enough to send me to Paris??
    V

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  22. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  23. YOU are marvellous!

    Del Mar! Del dìa! Delantera!

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  24. Don't you find produce sensuous...or is it sensual?
    A slow crop just increases the longing.

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  25. If a banana peels itself in the woods, does it make a sound?

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  26. That's one of life's eternal mysteries, isn't it PIO?

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  27. I have two nice tubs of greens, but that's about it. Even my precious lime tree looks puny. Summer's bumper crop burned me out. I see you've got a fine crop of fleas, tho. Or whatever is making the critters itch. We've got that, too.

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  28. WE get letters? I knew you just had to have a brunch of comedy writers on staff. I mean if Leno, Conan, et al, need them...

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  29. All of this reminds me of my favorite saying: "Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like bananas."

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  30. Quality is a perfectly acceptable way to go.

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  31. anonymous likes to hold the podium, don't he?

    Funny stuff as always!

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