Wednesday, October 28, 2009
When my gills turn a pale chartreuse or if I feel the least bit swiney, the first thing I do is double up on the exercise. Hike in the morning, ride in the afternoon, and run in the evening, for example. I’m under-employed, so can do things like that.
Often this method encourages germs to look for housing elsewhere, someplace a little more relaxed and accommodating – at a neighbor’s perhaps.
But when exercise doesn’t work, it’s time to pull out the big guns and make a huge Little House on the Prairie-sized cauldron of Sick Soup. I think I’ve mentioned the soup before, but seeing as we’re in flu season, thought I’d make this an annual PSA.
Sick Soup has as many and varied vegetables as can be crammed into one large pot. You cook it down and then puree it into a highly concentrated and unattractive green liquid. The idea behind the soup is to throw everything – body, brain, virus -- into vitamin shock. See, I posit that when a germ or virus moves in, the body sulks about the added work – you know, like when relatives visit. Sore throat and headache nothing more than a form of whining. But if you bombard the cells with something equally foreign and unwelcome – vegetables – the body is so busy raking leaves, you pass through the episode symptom-free.
The trick is, you’ve got to eat the soup and nothing but the soup for three days. No Triskets, no Snickers, no smoked oysters, no alcohol. Maybe just a small bag of M&Ms to cleanse the palate. And scotch, particularly if you have an aversion to it. Scotch tastes highly-medicinal and smells like bandaids – it's Lysol for the innards.
Large onion, garlic, head of cauliflower, head of broccoli, asparagus, boiling potatoes, 2 buns of spinach, bunch of dandelion leaves, carrots, Serrano peppers, salt, pepper, turmeric, chicken stock.
Chop, sauté, boil, puree.
You're out of scotch.