Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Just Say What

Radio serves two important functions: It will mop your brow during bouts of insomnia, and it will nudge you in the ribs when you’re driving.

I’m strictly classical music at 3 a.m. But in the car, I’m more catholic in my taste. And one of the stations I listen to has the uber-conservative personalities, mostly the ones who make outrageous statements in a modulated and apparently reasonable tone of voice.

Why this station? Well, because I already know what I think and don't need the amen. But what does the competition have to say?

Most radio hosts are gasbags, regardless of which political side they’re taking. (Daniel Schorr, anyone?) One of the hallmarks of a first class gas bag is the patronizing “Look” or “Listen” before launching into verbal farts. But better the gasbag you don’t know.

Lately, Dennis Prager has been a favorite windy companion of mine. He gained some notoriety this year with his philosophy that a wife should sexually submit to her husband whether or not she feels like it. Apparently, for a guy, a fuck is a fuck so long as there is, indeed a fuck, and the woman – well, big deal, pay no attention to the man behind the curtain -- read a book or plan a meal or something. This technique will ensure you hang onto the prize male specimen who is doing something or other behind your back. Well, frankly, you're both quite a prize at this point, aren't you?

Prager has since said he receives thousands of letters from women, thanking him for saving their marriage. Women listeners, Sir Prager? Really? Well then, the advertisers are losing a good bet, because all the commercials on your show focus on prostate health.

But anyway, That’s entertainment and keeps me amused, and I don’t find any of it the least bit disturbing. Until we actually agree on something.

Today Prager argued that Obama is right not to rattle the cage and thump the chest in the wake of the Iranian elections. In other words, let Iran actually think they have their own country and sort through this problem without US threats.

Holy shit. Listen, that’s what I think too. Look, now I’m worried.

Close the curtain, I have a meal to plan.


36 comments:

  1. One of your best.

    My prediction: 45 comments within the next 24 hours.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'll bet against your prediction K. I'm already in line for a first edition of your autumn book, so that's off the table. How about a second one of your books, autographed, of course.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I agree with K.

    Years ago, I listened to Rush for the sport of it. He was good at getting me to nod, "Yes, you're right." "I'm with you there." And then, out of nowhere, he would do this verbal 180 U-turn that defied logic. I stopped nodding and started screaming, "You really are an idiot" when he did that. Good fun!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I miss Frosty, Heidi and Frank. Terrific essay.

    ReplyDelete
  5. ...for a young guy, maybe-and some older douchebag assholes.
    The young ones don't know any better. Walk down the hill, kid.

    After midnight:

    KBEM 88.5 FM jazz after midnight

    3pm to 6pm, CST

    KFAI 90.3 FM Fresh Air Radio
    blues, bop and sweet, sweet soul music each weekday

    Gotta be some .org with these...
    no commercials!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Listen, there's too much sex & radical views on this blog, even for a K9! I think I'm gonna have 2 sit this 1 out, or I'll get my tail cut off.

    Look, I'll just listen in to the human species who are well-versed in those two subjects, like MrE, KB, P, MF, DB, LA, LL, PA, WCGB, MG, MH, & VH...for starters.

    Listen, it's refreshing to know, KB, that car radio is more cathartic for you. Look, gotta go, gotta eat. Btw, what's on your meal plan?

    ReplyDelete
  7. You! I freakin' love you! To hell with the ban, let's get married!


    !!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Ok srsly, mostly I listen to KPFK. I cannot stomach anything else. When the programming is crappy I dial up KPFA online and listen to podcasts of Over The Edge or Puzzling Evidence. This is why I am weird.

    ReplyDelete
  9. What wrong with Daniel Schorr?

    ReplyDelete
  10. I love this, Karin.

    I think all of them are gasbags and I never find anyone I agree with! (Farmgirl? Can I get an amen?) This is what happens when you are left of Kucinich and living in this farce of a New World Order. Don't get me started about my theories about US involvement in the Iran situation. Can we go back to talking about sex and glasses now?

    ReplyDelete
  11. Remember when radio was entertaining? I miss those days listening to the ball game then right afterward was Mystery Theater with E G Marshall. Now all we have is polarized useless drivel. Sometimes I prefer the roar of traffic passing by.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hey, Dusty Lens is right, why not radio plays instead? Too expensive, I expect. It's pretty cheap, production wise, just to broadcast some guy blowing hard.

    GG

    ReplyDelete
  13. I've been a radio freak since I was a little kid. I always listen to the radio when falling asleep. But I gave up on opinionated talkers a long time ago. I used to listen to guys like Prager, but I can't stand them anymore. Just a bunch of hypocrites. In the car, when I'm not listening to music, I listen to sports talk. Why? Because it's mindless and there's never anything to get upset about. Is Kobe the greatest ever? Or is Michael? I certainly don't care!

    I used to listen to Phil Hendry, but I don't think he's on in LA anymore. He was brilliant. Made up guests who had ever-increasingly ridiculous positions as the hour progressed. The joke was on the callers who thought the guest was real and called in to argue. Phil could do two people at once so brilliantly, he'd cut himself off, and argue with himself. Hysterical.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Oh yeah, Hendry was amazing. And I used to love the KNX drama hour, when they played old radio plays like Our Miss Brooks or The Shadow or Burns & Allen. Great stuff.

    I don't enjoy getting my blood boiling, it's just not for me. I get too involved and can't even watch the news on TV anymore because it's so much about taking sides instead of impartial journalism. So I like mild radio.

    And I used to work in radio news. Ha!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Had to come back because I forgot to subscribe to the post. Plus my WV is fluggu.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I remember radio plays! Fun times. These days the only talking on radio I can take is KCRW news, Car Talk, and the News from Lake Wobogan.

    ReplyDelete
  17. You've done it again KB! I had a scary flashback or two. Beware of hubby when he's been "overserved". That'll give you enough time to plan a 5 course banquet for 200 people with a flaming Cherries Jubilee for dessert. Geezzz!

    and the only thing I listen to in the car is Car Talk and Wait Wait Don't Tell Me, if I'm not listening to my Learn French in Your Car tapes. Rush would make me commit vehicular homicide!

    WV: FATINNE The French bread may have gone straight to my hips!

    ReplyDelete
  18. After Brain Scan and I get married, come by for dinner. All that meal planning will lead to some great dinners. Or join our book club.

    ReplyDelete
  19. This is really nice....Even i agree with -k-..Great post...I must say you are wonderful at giving the feedbacks...Great

    ReplyDelete
  20. I do love Says You on KCRW. It's just like an old radio game show. And one of the things they do is bluff each other making up definitions for words. They'd love our word verifications.

    ReplyDelete
  21. From what I've heard about Prager, I suspect that this "philosophy" was born as a rationalization for cheating. Call me a silly willie, but for some reason I don't trust people who parade their religion around and like to tell other people how they should live their lives.

    Ah, Civilization is so hard on men.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Great post!

    The second you said you listen to uber-conservative radio stations, I won't lie, I was a bit worried. But then I saw the reasoning behind it and your commentary was amusing.

    All I can say is if my husband wants some but I don't, he ain't getting any! HE can go read the book or plan the meal instead!


    Shawna's Study Abroad

    ReplyDelete
  23. He really is unintentionally funny Shawna. Or is it intentional?

    Actually Earl is probably close to right. Prager sez women have little if any sexual drive, whereas men are at the mercy of their need to bonk anything that moves.

    And I think Prager has been divorced like 80 times. (Well, ahem, who hasn't?)

    ReplyDelete
  24. Well, ya know, he's speaking from his personal experience.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Prager is right. I have no sex drive whenever I think of him. He must be ejected. Eject. Eject. Eject.

    "lessans"

    ReplyDelete
  26. Not only do I no longer have a working television due to the digital conversion, neither do I have a car radio. I'm embracing my state of ignorance. I'm also cleaning my house.
    Iran...whats that?

    ReplyDelete
  27. It may not surprise you that THIS is what I think of as beauty in a human being

    http://one-hundred-strangers.blogspot.com/2009/06/cara-020-tom.html

    ReplyDelete
  28. I would be dead without radio. More particularly, without BBC radio 4. So ten years ago I died when I discovered that my international radio couldn't receive radio 4 in Japan. My resurrection took place when the BBC decided to make pretty much all their content available as mp3 downloads. This has RADICALLY altered the battle against the weeds and other farming chores. Simple living. High quality listening.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Julie, that is hot stuff. I totally dig.

    ReplyDelete
  30. More than once I've gone toe to toe with Julie and come over to her side. But I'm still kicking this one around.

    And Michael, one of my open books is by Masanobu Fukuoka.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Hee-hee! Hee-hee.
    I like listening to radio in the car. Lo Life and This American Life with Ira Glass - love his voice - on KPCC (yes, it matters). Cannot take political blabber. Last Saturday there was a guy on Ira's show who didn't know if his father was his real father - he was a very early artificial insemination (sp?) baby. That's my tie in to your post. Sex is all over the radio.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Fukuoka has his followers, but not a particularly good track record. I'm intrigued, do you really think a large farm could adopt his methods and actually survive? http://www.dcity-ehime.com/project_hp/007/t000-034.html

    ReplyDelete
  33. Way to late to catch up from where I left off, but her is the translated page Michael posted: http://translate.google.com/translate?prev=hp&hl=en&js=n&u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.dcity-ehime.com%2Fproject_hp%2F007%2Ft000-034.html&sl=ja&tl=en&history_state0=

    ReplyDelete
  34. Ah, so he died this year? I don't know Michael, I'm not even going to pretend I understand what it takes to grow crops. But I'm on jury duty today so will try to finish the book, and maybe we can discuss a bit.

    Tash, me too! I first ran into TAL while hiking and have been hooked ever since. Tsing Loh kind of irritates me, but maybe I'm just jealous.

    Thanks Mid Town Geraldo. My Japanese is pretty rusty.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Mrs Prager has my deepest condolences.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Mrs Prager is tied up in the basement or dead. You know she was no feminist!

    WV: grazingl, he still is!

    ReplyDelete