Never forget 4/1, not on my watch

Disclaimer: This is not serious and no burgers were harmed in the making of this post.

Well, the good news is, I did get a job in public relations and it is with a Fortune 500 company. The salary is lower than I’d hoped, but there are all sorts opportunities for supersized growth and promotion. Plus, this job combines two things I love: Public speaking and dining. (Can you believe it? Eat your heart out, food bloggers.)

Microphones are scary for some, but as one with extensive experience in voice response systems (ok, answering machines, but my message is special and super long), I'm ready. (But believe me, I'm still practicing. We have -- gasp -- professional scripts and speeches. Can't wait to meet the writer.)

When you visit, I'll show you my office. It's small, but here's what's important: A room with a view. I sit next to a big window; I'm inspired already, watching the cars go by.

Admittedly, it will take awhile to re-adjust to the corporate grind. Back to the stringent dress code, the regular hours, the office politics, the hairnet. (One hand washes the other around here, but that doesn't shake me.)

Probably won’t have a lot of time for blogging, now that I’m back in the game. But unemployment was a bit of a pickle, so I know you’re happy for me. Future promotions? I'd say it's in the bag. Out of the frying pan and you're fired! (Company joke, I'll explain later.)

I don’t think I could have landed this job without everyone’s honest assessment of my abilities. Give yourself a patty on the back. Before I sign off, just remember, this is America and dreams can come true. Just stay off the special sauce and the world is your quarter pounder.

Uh, do you want fries with that world?