Tuesday, March 3, 2009

News from the Banana Republic

Maybe it shrunk since the day before yesterday.

Do a bunch of math. Who called this 2% market uptick yesterday, your broker or my banana?

How is the economy really doing? The Altadena Economic Barometer is on the job.

One week has passed, so I contacted my team. The county extension agent was busy eating squirrel shit, but agreed to come by for an emergency measurement.

There was momentary confusion as we looked for our official tools -- I think he buried them. But we passed that hurdle by borrowing substitutes from a neighbor.

You can believe in voodoo (DJIA springs to mind) or you can put your faith in science. Look beyond the rot and the wilt -- we have grown two inches, and we're in the green.










The county extension agent was ecstatic. (He has Vanguard.)










Thanks to Mlle Gramaphone, we decided to gently celebrate. (Ours is the subdued version. We have promises to keep, and inches to go before we sleep.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMTNT_BzkdA

21 comments:

  1. I share CEA's ecstasy. Two inches is quite a growth spurt.

    ReplyDelete
  2. If the agent didn't look so honest, I would probably argue at this point.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Historically, hasn't a two inch growth spurt been cause for celebration?
    V

    ReplyDelete
  4. Virgina,
    A 2 inch growth is a reason for celebration. We are speaking of plants, aren't we?

    ReplyDelete
  5. "All sports are games of inches."
    -- Dick Ritger

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm calling my trader, and have him buy banana stocks.

    ReplyDelete
  7. He is totally flirting. Call the county!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Well, I think you should make it official and get your CEA a yellow banana bandana neckerchief. Maybe you could start a line of Banana Barometer Couture, have a link on your page to your shop. Be sure and include totes. I'm big on totes. And mugs. And t-shirts with Albert in his banana bandana.

    ReplyDelete
  9. It looks dead to me. It is a most excelent econo-meter.
    (Glad to see that the inspector trusts his good canine instincts and eats whenever an opportunity presents itself.)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Are they still around? Ain't they went, like, bankrupt?? I just haven't been keeping up on the news re them.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Should we trust that Banana for financial advise? Does this mean we should buy when it turns green or sell? And in what zone?

    "Western Gardner" says your theory is all washed up; you live in zone 21. I'd just as soon trust the financial advice of the CEA.

    Mid-Town G

    ReplyDelete
  12. Inches to go before you sleep ... we should all be so lucky!

    ReplyDelete
  13. What kind of Banana is it? I had several Banana trees when I lived in East L.A. The soil was hard clay but that didn't seem to matter. The tree dies when it gives off fruit. Mine were those small yellow bananas. People around the neighborhood loved my tree but not for the bananas. They wanted the leaves for tamales. Our inspectors were mainly pit bulls and chows at the time. Despite my thriving banana trees, I was poor then too.

    look at your e-mail por favor

    ReplyDelete
  14. Funny how many of you doubt the scientific method and choose to believe in magic.

    PJ, Albert is happy to remain a civil servant. Besides, if he became a male model, he'd start asking for outrageous perks. Like canned food.

    ReplyDelete
  15. That is one eager tree. Maybe by this summer you'll be able to make your own banana Obamaflan.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I just receive an email from Ebay. The visible part of the subject line was very encouraging. It said, "720,000 Americans are making a living...."

    ReplyDelete
  17. My banana doesn't like to brag, but markets were up two points today, thank you very much.

    Call us if you should need help again.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Mr Earl, that's not a very good number considering the whole population.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Could you please give Albert something to eat besides Quickcrete in milk and squirrel shit souffles?

    Then ask him who killed William Desmond Taylor.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Just cking in to see if there's any new news from AltaDena.

    ReplyDelete