Friday, February 13, 2009

Hoist! Hoist! My kingdom for a hoist (and that petard thingy they're supposed to have)

Everytime a workman comes to my house, he tells me what a horrendously inept job the last workman performed. So when a roofer came yesterday to repair some leaks, he shook his head in utter dismay. "Who was the last one to work on your roof?"

"Uh, it was you," I replied.

He climbed back up the ladder.


  1. Oh isn't that just the truth! Have you ever had a workman that said, " Damn, the last guy that worked on your sink did a bang up job?" NO!

  2. Oh that's hilarious. And you poor thing -- you are having roof repairs done in the rain?

  3. That's so funny! I always feel very sheepish and ignorant and taken when workmen give me that line.

    My word today is asitting, which is funny because that's what I've been doing all day.

  4. I think you know I totally identify with this...we're have a conference in my kitchen on Thursday:
    The Home Depot store manager
    The American Woodmark regional manager
    His boss

    Incidentally, they don't leave the house alive unless they meet my demands and put it in writing - in blood. Theirs.

  5. Its been a while since I laughed that hard when I read a blog post. Too funny!

  6. I hope you are staying dry, and I hope your Alzheimer-ridden roofer does a better job this time. (Maybe the hole in the roof is what let in the mouse!)

  7. hahahahahaha! I'll bet you enjoyed saying that. Did you call him again because the work was under warranty? Otherwise, um, why?

  8. I read.

    I laughed.

    I word verified. ("daudi")

  9. Did he stay up there?

  10. In the rain?!

    I had the man from the Gas Company out today. I thought I smelled gas around by stove. He couldn't find a leak, but he shut down my heater. He said it was dangerous.

  11. I had a new roof installed by a non-referred company
    He promised 20 year guarantee to the tiles
    However, there was no guarantee on the roofing nails
    I was on the roof one day a few years later
    I noticed one set of tiles that seemed askew
    I called in a new roofer to inspect
    He looked at the site and pulled out a half dozen sections, without asking
    He threw them off the roof to the ground below
    All the nails had rusted and broken
    Shingles were held in place by their sheer weight
    The tile flinger asked if I wanted a quote for a new roof
    I looked at the aged, exposed sub roof
    We were both descended roof from the 8 foot ladder
    Without incident
    I often wonder what would have happened if I had . . . . . .

  12. The repair was done between raindrops. Who is that guy with the lamp looking for an honest man? He must have been having work done on his house.

  13. Did he really? oh no. I interviewed ten roofers before I settled on one. Home D has the highest quotes. Flyers on the doorstep roofers were questionable. Look for small family operated roofers in the area.. You can also tell how long a roofer has had a contractors license by the their contractor's number. Never screw around when it comes to roofers and plastic surgeons.

  14. Diogenes. He was homeless and lived in a tub. But he also hoisted cynicism's petard, so he's the perfect mascot for home improvement. Good luck!

  15. LOL!!! LOVE this story! LOL!!!

    Once my apartment roof was being re-tarred, and tar started leaking thru the ceiling and onto the carpet. I ran outside and said "hey, there's tar dripping through the ceiling and onto the carpet!"

    They replied: "well, yeah, because there's holes in the roof."

    Well put. Except the rain never dripped thru, but they weren't the debating sort.