Tuesday, January 13, 2009

What if Shakespeare Blogged?

The Tempest would not exist. Macbeth would lack some vital sword fights. Given the insidious, time-consuming seduction of blogging, I suspect we’d only have some half-finished sonnets, a recipe for shepherd’s pie, and a bunch of photographs of Stratford-on-Avon.

"How do I love thee? Let me count the way."

Oh, and some one-act plays.

Juliet would have said, screw it – County Paris is ok, at least my dad likes him. Hamlet would have decided to be. Othello would have had a beer instead. There’d be a Sixth Night, A Bit of Ado, The Merry Wife of Windsor, One Gentleman of Verona, and a Comedy of Error.

And there’d be none of the shit no one reads anyway, unless it’s thesis time -- Titus Andronicus, Cymbeline, Coriolanus ...

"Love!" Anne H would have said, as Shakespeare pulled the savory pork pie from the oven, "no labor lost here."



25 comments:

  1. It's quite the pity that blogging wasn't around in Elizabethan times. Imagine the comments Shakespeare would have inspired.

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  2. Someone once wrote that it used to be thought if you gave 1,000 monkeys each a typewriter and let them type for 1,000 years, they would produce the complete works of William Shakespeare, but that the internet has proven this to be untrue.

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  3. "How do I love thee, let me count to one!"

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  4. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  5. !

    On second thought, I've got writing to do.

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  6. You're starting to sound like an english leather. English literature??

    Major.

    Remember - be careful. Don't ruin your reputation!

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  7. I beg your pardon, Margaret?!
    You love shepherd's pie?

    As long as it's German, then you're OK. But, try not to put it out in the public blogosphere.

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  8. Prose for your nose,

    a rose for your toes.

    Gorgeously goofy.

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  9. Are you saying that blogging is making the world a better place, albeit without "The great homicidal classics?"

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  10. I've decided that if it weren't for the sad state of the newspaper industry, there would be no blogs. How many of us work from home as journalists? Or used to work in a newsroom as a journalist? I'm beginning to realize most of us - I guess the discipline of daily filing keeps the posts coming consistently.

    This post is a scream! Too funny!

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  11. Farmgirl, you're so right. I started the blog in the first place just for the discipline of daily writing. Little did I know how much I'd appreciate the comaraderie and the work of other bloggers. So I'm hooked.

    Vanda, actually I've found blogging helps my other writing; helps define a voice. (I never actually read Cymbline...)

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  12. CO: Anything with potatoes. I can't resist them.

    AH: Also, while blogging might not have been the best medium for Sir William, I'm awfully glad it's such a good medium for you.

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  13. "The discipline of daily writing"?
    KB, if blogging were all that, you wouldn't see this shepherd into this human craziness.

    Besides, "discipline(d)" is not a word that jumps at me when I think of my human blogger friends!

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  14. I think the Bard would of really liked this post, even more than I do. I wish I could be so funny & clever & write so well. Maybe if I practiced daily? for hours? and hours?

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  15. Unless Shakespeare is filtered through Woody Allen I have no need for the man.

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  16. I'm pretty sure Shakespeare would have been a TV writer had he lived in our time. He knew how to build a drama and he could do it quickly. He was also very good with fast rewrites. Any show he worked on would have been a hit.

    He was a sharp cookie and he knew how to make money. He would have been the writer/producer, as he was in his day.

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  17. You've got me thinking ... what if all the rest of the greats blogged? Can't you see the banner across the top of Dorothy Parker's Round Table blog? What about Poe? (It would be the blogger template that is all black with white typeface.) And Barth, oh heavens, I'm sure there would be lots of flame wars over at Barth's place. I don't even want to think of how long it would take to get through Pynchon's daily blog. But I'd sure like to see what Bukowski could have done with Barfly Daily Photo...

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  18. Seriously, girl, seriously. The blogging is great writing exercise but generally (bloggers who get book deals aside), one does not end up with an opus, magnum or otherwise.

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  19. What about the prophets?

    Everyone, head on over to Isaiah's blog. He's sending out an urgent alert.

    And of course you all know the bumper sticker, "What would Jesus blog?"

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  20. Yeah, Shakespeare would probably writing for HBO. Just the right balance of sex and violence.

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  21. Hi,
    I just wonder how Bill would have been pitching the movie. I am so in the dark about where these people get their money for the film. Dammmit. I guess it really doesn't matter.

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  22. Ah shoot, I haven't a clue. Wish I did.

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