Saturday, December 6, 2008

My green life, and welcome to it

Thank you for your interest in our simple way of life.

Rule #1: Replace modern conveniences with a green alternative. We don’t own an alarm clock, but the dog has been trained to lick our faces at the sign of dawn. I’m the first one up, so I make the coffee. Well, not coffee exactly, as its production is ruining the rainforest and exploiting the poor. I boil water and pour it over ground dirt, and the result looks surprising like coffee, with a much higher mineral content.


We split the chores pretty much along sexual lines, so I cook, clean, and sew. You’ve heard of people making dust rags from old clothes? I can make old clothes from dust rags. Most of my yarn and thread I spin myself, using the fur from our collie, and it keeps the family in sweaters and scarves. We avoid heated rooms on rainy days.

All our pots, pans, dishes and flat wear are made from clay. I’m also currently making ceramic shoe soles. Longer lasting and biodegradable. It’s been hard on our son Gawain, as his tennis game suffered, but green comes at a price.

It’s no secret that urine is one great, organic fertilizer, and is certainly the reason behind this year’s bumper crop. We turned it into a family game, which is the secret behind successful green anyway. We competitively pee on our vegetable beds, and even our collie joins in! Our lettuce will be ready for sale in the near future, so stay tuned!

Which segues into some of our other practices. This one started when Mother observed a pigeon taking a dust bath. Hmmm, there’s lots of dust in Pasadena, and we could all use a bath… Mother is the necessity of invention. There’s more, but I’ll save it for another day.

Before you leave , please sign the “Make your Putting Green” petition. It’s asking the city council to replace the lawn on local golf courses with an edible landscape. And let us know what steps you're taking in the quest for green...






Bye-bye for now from me and the gardeners. And don't forget to place your veggie orders; we're going fast.


Oh, and coming soon. Recycling common household appliances into object d'arte. You'll be amazed.






23 comments:

  1. You'll be happy to learn that you can compost dog poop. Or maybe you already know it.

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  2. I'm still laughing about making clothes from dust rags. I think you could become uber-famous as a designer. You know: green-chic, nouveau tramp, eco fashionisa stuff.

    I'm about to replant my container herb garden. Thinking about getting really fancy and adding a few lettuce plants.

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  3. The Japanese were famous for their human feces fertilizer when I was there in the 1950s.

    I would not pee on vegetables but would consider taking a leak, as we say, on mulch or the area on top of the ground around the vegetables.

    When I was growing up, everyone had a outhouse or privy or toilet outside and there was always a Concord Grape Vine planted somewhere near it so the roots could draw on that human waste. The grapes were powerful and big.

    Here where I live in Southwestern Ohio, north of Dayton, the home of aviation, the Wright Brothers and Paul Lawrence Dunbar, the poet; it is snowing and has all day. It is 27 degrees F ( -2.7 C)and roads are a mess.

    I wanted to thank you for your visits and for keeping track of me while I have been both in and out of the hospital.

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  4. Keep them dogs hydrated.

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  5. mademoiselle gramophoneDecember 6, 2008 at 1:07 PM

    "Gawain" I've never tried the ground dirt coffee. LOL You're a funny writer. Well Done!

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  6. You really know how to mark your territory. Very funny post.

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  7. Did you know that you can build a solar panel from empty beer cans?

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  8. Or make eco floor from cow dung?

    I have poop on the mind today.

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  9. Would you take a leak on a leek?

    I'm "outta" here!

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  10. We're making Christmas toys out of the cardboard toilet paper rolls for our nieces and nephews. The rolls can be used for dolls, telescopes, and e-meter handles. We picked up an old Etch a Sketch for the meter. The kids love it. They pretend they're clear but they're so screwed.

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  11. When passing near federal offices, freeway off ramp colleges and/or hospital staff break rooms, stop and collect the cigarette butts from the receptacles. Pull out the tobacco and use it as a substitute for your favorite Italian grocer's parmesan cheese. It will keep the intestinal track clear of free roaming radicals without doing harm to the pin worms.

    Learn when trash pick up day is in nearby communities. Hit garage sales in the final hour thereby saving sellers a trek to the Goodwill. Pick a time close to gift giving holidays (but after Thanks Giving) to make enemies of family members. Avoid walks near J.P.L. and Petrea who reads links.

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  12. Vanda, I see you are on the cutting edge. Laurie, lettuce -- good for you! -- get the dog involved. Abe, I grow grapes! MH, MG, Susan, I'm waiting for your contributions. Petrea hook it up to solar panels, they'll get an ecologically-responsible shock. PA, the grocer has suddenly changed his mind about me.

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  13. AH - I had some of my "friends" talk to the grocer.

    They told him "ciaterib," and he understood.

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  14. how do I make my putter green?

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  15. I give up all. You guys are too witty for me. Funny post though.

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  16. I used to work in an office that featured the exact same coffee recipe. I had no idea they were so ecofriendly.

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  17. Ken - Stick it out the window during an ice storm.

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  18. I'm in love with the toilet idea. Toilets, everyone has at least one. I was in Van Nuys yesterday and they have installed public toilet kiosks at the courthouse and at the subway station-just like in Paris.

    Paris? Van Nuys? I don't know. What I do know i a dog licking my face right now would be good medicine for me.

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  19. You, my dear, are a woman of amazing talents. (I like the way you non-chalantely said you learned to fly for a job... THAT'S FABULOUS! I work in aerospace & go along for airplane rides but never really wanted to fly myself. You are absolutely right about landings, gotta love them to keep flying.) So you may be a great talent but in green living, my deceased grandmother would make you just a beginner... but I won't go into details. My husband doesn't trust anything organic, so just please COOK EVERYTHING you grow before eating, BEWARE of killer bacteria.
    Now the toilet is a class act! Gotta tell my friend Annie (a trash anyday retriever), or gotta ask her husband how much he'd pay me not to tell her. :)

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  20. PS - Ditto on Laurie's comment about dust rags. Classic.

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  21. Miss Havisham, such a welcome potty mouth!! Oh, let me add two more !! And Tash, you have to understand how very bad I was at landing. How very, very bad. A good story, tho, I may share sometime. But your 14 year old son flies -- wow. Mr.H and Ken, I'm not familiar with the finer points of golf in a cold climate. Margaret, fagetaboutit, you have Frigga on your side.

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  22. Miss H, you mean the self-cleaning kind? They're so fun, they're like carnival rides.

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  23. Yes, yes, the self-cleaning kind. I've never been in one but I saw a video demo once and I though it looked like some kind of elevator water assault.

    It's the thought...

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