Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Well lard dee dah


I have to believe the first ad because it has the full support of the venerable Lard Information Council. And I'm sorry, but if you can't believe LIC, then you're a prick. And this family sure looks happy to me. But how do they stay trim? Positive attitude, plenty of exercise, and a healthy helping of tapeworms every day. I happen to sprinkle the little fellers in yogurt, but most folks like to have them crawl over waffles and maple syrup.



I can't read all the product labels, but it does appear our little miss has one big box of prunes just to get the party started.

25 comments:

  1. Did you know that lard is making a comeback?

    It's trendy to cook with lard again (even in places like the French Laundry). Pork belly and bone marrow are also in vogue. I predict that it's time for snuff and chewin' tobaccy to get popular too.

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  2. I just want to know where you do your research.

    Wait. No I don't.

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  3. Dr.Burchard, here's a clue: compost.

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  4. Nobody composts newspapers that old, do they, C.O.? By that time they're relics of another kind...

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  5. Karin - You are a very sick woman. I love it!

    Petrea - Your first comment reminds me of the time I emerged from the restroom with a section of the LA Times. A woman friend of mine said, "Where did you get that?" "In the bathroom," I said.
    She said, "You shouldn't do that. You don't know where it's been... YOU DO know where it's been!!"

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  6. Sad, but true: fat is flavor. I don't know about tapeworms.

    By the way bone marrow is damn tasty.

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  7. Maybe Susan C or Jo will favor us with a recipe.

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  8. A friend of mine willingly took the worm cure. I saw her last night and she looks stunning.

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  9. Lardass is a term of endearment to me.

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  10. OK, that's it. I'm back on WeightWatchers the day after Thanksgiving.

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  11. I want that to frame that first one.

    I swear, you win. You just win. You find the coolest stuff, K.

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  12. Oh, the health benefits of lard and tape worms! I heard all about it on the on the worm turns.

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  13. Bless you guys! You made my night, because I just had to dig out the side of my house from a mud flow. Hope my neighbor didn't mind -- some went in his driveway. But better than my house. To me anyway. Where's that lard?

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  14. mademoiselle gramophoneNovember 26, 2008 at 8:27 PM

    That is, As the Worm turns... sorry typing is a challenge for me. It's not the same as piano keys. A piano key is not like a typewriter key and Crisco is not like lard.

    It's like saying cheese is the same as Velveeta

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  15. I hope you're ok up there, AH. I think the hard rain has subsided for tonight.

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  16. Velveeta makes wonderful bait for catching rainbow trout but not for fly fishing. A diet rich in fish will give you mercury poisoning which will keep you slender and give your skin a bluish tint.

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  17. So is it better to gorge yourself on rainbow trout, or just eat the velveeta yourself?

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  18. Perhaps we need to rethink our judgments. Just today there was a quote in the LA TIMES about a woman in the midwest who lives to 115. What was her diet? Bacon, fried eggs and fried chicken. Ten bucks says she cooked it all -- even the bacon -- on good ol' lard.

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  19. Margaret - If that's the ticket, these folks in Texas will live a long time...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZfbTO0GlONU

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  20. I think I have a tapeworm … but it's metric.

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  21. Actually, on second look, I have to say I think the tapeworm ad is a fake. At least two of those typefaces had yet to be invented at the time any women of such a 19th-century appearance cooed over any product—say, before 1920 (probably a generation earlier; cf. her resemblance to C.D. Gibson's more zaftig examples of distaff). But it's pleasantly repellent all the same.

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  22. Bamboozled [fr, Latin bam, hit or strike + boozle, alcohol: lit., "slam the booze"] is a strong word. Let's just call it an episode of innocent hornswogglin'

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  23. fantastic! I love LARD< still use it to maintain my doo, clean the toilet and feed the pigeons..

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