Sunday, November 2, 2008

Tea and No Sympathy

Oh God, PA, now you've done it. The cat woman saw your post as well as my innocent little comment about her former career at the Smogcutter in East Hollywood. So she parked her office at my house and is pounding on the window. She wants to show me her (gasp!) memorabilia. She threatens to do a bubble dance on my front lawn if I don't let her in. The cat snuck through my dog door once Ms H started reciting her tea poems: "If it you don't spike it/I won't like it," and "Tea and gin/it's no sin," and "Tea and brandy/that's my candy." Neighbors are horrified.

I cranked up the Debussy, but it's no match for that voice. (You think I exaggerate? There's a reading at the Huntington, 2:30, with erst-while Bubble Dance partner Patt Morrison. Jeez PA, help me get them dressed. Bring toiletries.)

The rest of you, buy her book, I beg you. I'll feed the kitty.

(The poems above are not in the Miss H collection; she published on one of her "good" days. She was wearing a slip.)


  1. I need to run for the office of Cat-Catcher.

    Or, at least get a job as Cat-Catcher. No pay, U say? I'm willing to volunteer.

  2. Have you people lost your minds?


    I'll be over with her meds or vodka whichever comes first.

  3. Me gots to reed it. ASAP.

    Hey. My word verification is "ingroine." Think about it.

  4. Turn on the sprinklers.

  5. Petrea, everything's lewd when the catwoman's around. Uh-oh, she's starting to wake up again; Dr. Watson, the needle!

  6. Is she licking herself?

    Diestery's my word this time.

  7. I'll follow the bouncing ball, and the links into the ether. I don't think you're losing it. You almost lost me. I'll place this amongst the James Joyce I never read.

  8. Your illustration has just given me the inspiration for this year's holiday card.

    Tea without rum?
    Now that's no fun.

    Forget the tea.
    Just bring me a bottle of Makers Mark.

    AH and PA, you are hilaroius, and you make me want to buy Miss H's book.

  9. I followed over here from Pasadena Adjacent. Great romp you three pulled off. Really smart. Might even buy the book.

  10. I was in a play about 30 years ago called "The Girl in the Freudian Slip." I'd like to think Miss Havisham was in the same slip!

  11. Miss Havisham has been drinking Earl grey. Which is to say, all this drinking is driving him mad, as in tea party.

    Anyone know what a soensfoz is and why I need to enter it into the box below?

  12. Petrea, all I can say is I'm shocked, shocked you would gambol in this establishment.

    CB, Susan, and John: Praise is jolly/but where's the lolly?

    PPio: I dashed off to Victoria's Secret, but they were all out of Freudian slips. Now what?

    Mister Earl: Soensfoz is what the catwoman keeps mumbling while face down in my lawn. Oh, pass me the Earl Grey, and don't be stingy.

  13. AH - You can have all the Earl Grey, and all the Grey Earl, you want. Let's take a hike together! Or stop by Cafe 322 in Sierra Madre Wednesday night and talk to the bass player.

    sworicsi - I think it's a variation of a risoto.

    And how come we don't have to type in all these interesting words at Laurie's blog?

  14. Hello kitty! (I'm stealing PA's line from a while ago.)
    I'm glad it's being well taken care of.

  15. Where else am I supposed to gambol? My slips are rarely Freudian, though I believe I have one somewhere in the closet.

    Merpon to you, Mr. Earl. And I mean that in the nicest way.

  16. You are brilliant, AH, and I mean that in a good way and in a bad way.

    This is how I feel sometimes, but only when my slip is off.

  17. @Sir Earl: Laurie types more than enuf tons of the thoughtful stuff -2 say de least- mostly on blogs other than her own

    I can't get too close to her or else I'll catch a little of what she has.