Monday, November 24, 2008

Also good on oil spills!

So I sat at the keyboard and weighed some options. Should I present my comparative analysis of Gatsby themes in The Unbearable Lightness of Being? Vanda would read it. An essay on what it means to be psychotically competitive? PA would comment. Photograph another provocative stack of processed-food cans? Hi Jo.

Drink? I won’t name names.

Fortunately my friend Don solved the dilemma. He forwarded a series of magazine ads from the 1930’s. And you think mass-advertising lacks a conscience today?

You ever hear the story that Dr. Pepper was originally a medicinal drink? Or that they marketed Marlboros to women? Well here we have an early incarnation of what to do with a highly odiferous pine-scented liquid. I wonder why only reason #5 is with us in spirit today ... And judging from the "after" photo, looks like Lysol can hold its own in the embalming fluid arena as well.

(Just so you don’t jump to any extremely wrong-headed conclusions, my happily married friend Don sent these ads to many, many friends of all sexes, creeds and colors.)

18 comments:

  1. I could write something on suffering psychotic bouts of envy and you would comment. I'll spare you the rescued China Town loose goose story in favor of the cornish game hen debacle.
    I stocked my refrigerator with a ton of two for one cornish game hens, shut the windows and walked out the door for a weeks trip to Big Sur. (My assumption being) that within three miles of leaving my driveway, my refrigerator cut out. Upon my return to my 400 square foot house I shared with V, I was greeted by swarming giant black flies and a smell I can't even began to describe. Only one thing I could do, I called the L.A. coroner who actually got back to me. His recommendation? Pine Sol. Lysol may be the preferred elixir of embalmers but Pine Sol rules with the Los Angeles Coroner. (thats me being competitive).

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  2. Stinky Women are clearly clearly the root of all evil.

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  3. drink... did someone say drink? Yanno... I got this Tipsy egg nog here if someone wants a drink!

    *hiccup* isssss ggood stuffffffff

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  4. Did the product include steel wool or abrasive sponge?

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  5. great ad! Is that you and your pooching hiking the trail? And I wouldn't touch those chairs either!

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  6. Good Lord! Douching with Lysol. I'm crossing my legs just at the thought.

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  7. Thanks, KB. I'll recommend this 2 certain of my feemale acquaintances. It may actually be an improvement on whatever they've been using/doing. I know they'll be pleased.

    I'm beginning 2 understand why sum women need more time than males, and we dogs.

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  8. I'm caught in a massive cobweb of my own deception, a glass cage of emotion,

    a
    a

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  9. I'm still scooping my jaw off the floor after reading that ad. This and Jack Parsons in a same evening... my world view will not be the same.

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  10. PS - I'd read the lit comparison too. (Is it an Eastern European thing?) In 10th grade I wrote a paper comparing the themes in Farewell to Arms & Tender is the Night. Hmmm...very odd but I wish I still had the paper.

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  11. History is painful, is it not?
    So 9 out of 10 coroners use Pine Sol. And Ken, that is me and Al circa August. And I'd read it too Tash.

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  12. The smell of Lysol reminds me of summer camp. Mopping down the cabin floor, and it'll stink of Lysol all day and you don't care.

    But a restaurant that smells like Lysol, now that's another story. Can't stand it. The Lysol smell permeates the food. Horrible.

    Not that I'm comparing this situation to a restaurant or other eating establishment
    ...well...maybe...well...
    never mind....

    I think I'll just have to get a "fraverm," which is not only my password for today, it's also a fragrance that's used to disguise the smell of vermin. Maybe it would make a fine douche.

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  13. I found something that will clean the old balls... you know for the men!

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  14. This reminds me of an ad a friend sent me from a porn magazine. It was for something called "Sphincterine."

    People. Are. Freaks.

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  15. MG: Yes, it looks like it would would work well on golf balls, but not on fuzzy tennis balls. Not that I would want any of my balls, no matter what the sport, smelling of Lysol. Love the song!

    Mr. Earl loves Mr. Clean... in a Platonic sort of way, of course...

    Well, I'm off to wash up.

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