Monday, October 6, 2008

Exercising good judgement

I think the current crop of exercise blogs needs some solid marketing advice. First of all, everyone looks uncomfortable. Pinched smiles, teeth clenched. Those ropes of muscles running up the arms and thighs -- that's gotta hurt.

And speaking of ouch -- the clothes. As I take another spoon of my cookie dough ice cream, I narrow my eyes at the display of leotards and spandex -- it's retro, no? If I had an exercise blog, it would promote loose-fitting, well-ventilated clothing. Togas are one idea; and muumuu jogging. LYP would be our acronym: Liberate your pores.

100 reps of this, 100 reps of that -- who likes repetition? One push up, then move on to the one sit up. Now shake it loose. Maybe pause for a glass of Pinot. You can't underestimate the role relaxation plays in strenuous undertakings. Read your Dalai Lama.

I think the final thing I'd change would be the language. All that patronizing: "one more, you can do it. You've got the strength, looking good." I'd favor something a little more realistic, par example, "Give us a squat, lard ass." At least I'd know who they were talking to.


  1. If your dogs don't want that chicken, I know one who does.

  2. You crack me up!

    I once fed those TJ chicken drumettes to children attending a wake for our dearly departed chicken, White Socks. When my daughter realized she was eating chicken at a chicken funeral, she and six other little girls simultaneously lost their nuggets.

  3. Yesterday I stubbed my toe on a misplaced barbell. Good news, the 99 cent store is buried in un-purchased g-strings.

  4. LOL! funny :)

    come over to my place and get your award! :D

  5. are brownies involved? With frosting?

  6. Will you be my trainer? We can cook and eat afterwards. I mean, we'll have earned it, right?