Thursday, September 25, 2008
Food bloggers -- puhleese. They think they're all that and a bag of homemade Provencal-herb sprinkled chips. What the hell is so hard about it? Plus, they never cover the important stuff -- like, you have to wash the dishes first. Duh.
Economy getting your down? You want pretty pictures and comfort food? Trust me, you don't have to spend the afternoon in the bean curd section of your not-so-local Asian market. Here is my first food blog recipe:
Sandwiche avec poisson et une petite dollope de mayonaisse
Bumble bee tuna (in oil please, not that water soaked crap)
White bread (I'm kind of a gourmet, so I spring for the sourdough)
Best Foods REAL mayonnaise (Even when the Best Foods Fake Mayonnaise is on sale at a really good price, I steer clear. But I have good taste. Maybe it's all the same to you.)
The stray lettuce leaf that's at the bottom of your crisper. And if you find a radish there, so much the better.
Lots of du vin (We all know what the "lots" means -- Trader Joe's)
Wash a knife and fork (I mean today; yesterday doesn't count)
Wash a bowl (see note above)
Wash some counter space (just keep looking at that note, ok? You can't go wrong.)
So all these food blogs get away with saying "to taste," as in "salt and pepper to taste." "Garlic to taste." I say they're getting away with murder. But then, so will I.
Mix tuna with 1/2 cup of mayonnaise to taste.
Add lots of salt to taste
Spread thin layer of mayonnaise on bread, and layer lettuce leaf and misc vegetables to taste.
Oh shit, don't forget to toast the bread first. We're not savages here.
Add spoonful of tuna on toast to taste
Set out wine glasses (refer to counter-space note)
And finally, I think fruit makes a nice presentation w/ the meal.
Easiest post I ever did. So please Susan Carrier and Blue Kitchen and the lot. I'm on to you now. and after a few more recipes, I think I'll go after those photography blogs. Composition, shadows, image, lighting -- puhleese. They never even tell you to wipe the lens first.