We're Back in Business

My car is fixed, home, and, by the way, washed a polished. Thanks Alex, GM at Star Ford, for reaching out to me and seeing to everything -- from the car rental to the transmission/electronic repairs. And for calling me regularly over the past two days to let me know exactly how things stood.

And a toast to you all. May this be the last Ford Fiesta story you ever read on my blog.

What to expect when you buy a Ford Fiesta

Expect that in two years, at 11,600 miles, you’ll have a transmission problem. Expect:

• That when bringing your car to the dealership of purchase, it will die within a block of the destination.
• That you’ll run to the dealership, ask for assistance with the tow, and they’ll tell you to do it yourself. “We’re busy.”
• That when they have your car, they will not call you with an update.
• That you’ll call six hours later, explain you have a transmission problem, and be told there are three other cars ahead of yours, and they won’t look at it today. “We’re busy.”
• That they will not call you the next day.
• That you’ll call the next day, at 1 p.m., then again at 2 p.m., and finally get a call back. “I’m the Fiesta with the transmission problem,” you’ll say. They will reply, “Yes, we looked at it, you have a transmission problem.”

Expect that you will be told they will not fix your car for another week. “We have lots of problems ahead of yours; we’re busy.” Expect:

• That when you ask for any sort of help with a transitional car, since they are “so busy,” and too busy to fix your car for a week, you’ll be promised a mere $20 stipend a day towards a rental. A rental at a specific location near their shop. “We’ll put it in the system so they’re expecting you.”
• That when you get to the rental agency, there is nothing in the system, so you charge the whole thing to your credit card.
• That the car from the rental agency is on empty. Well, they told you this, didn’t they? You just didn’t realize, until after you’d pulled away, you have exactly three miles worth of gas with which to find a gas station in an area with which you’re entirely unfamiliar.
• Expect to hyperventilate. Over the whole bloody experience, but most of all, the immediate problem. Where can you find a gas station?

In short, expect that when you buy a Ford Fiesta, new, and pay for it in cash, that two years later at 11,600 miles, when your transmission breaks down one block from the dealership where you bought the car, you’ll get neither assistance, effort, interest, or your car.

In short, expect nothing.

I realize, in the grand scheme of life, my car floats somewhere in the bottom-feeder category. Still, this whole experience has crawled under my skin (can you tell?).

What Ford and Star Ford in Glendale can expect from me: This story; posted to every place I can think of, including my blog, Facebook, Yelp, and any email address I can find at the corporate office. I don’t expect corporate to care, of course. I’m past expectations, and am working my way towards worst-case scenarios.

For my blogger friends -- those who comment and those who prefer to just read -- who have followed this story, thank you. You have no idea how much I've appreciated your support.

Why I hate Ford .2: How a new car warranty will screw you

Buy a new Ford, and Ford will throw in a 60,0000 mile warranty. Sounds great, what?

You get this terrific warranty on a new car -- 60,000 miles or 5 years (or whatever), stem-to-stern. Oh, I'm living in clover, you think. What they don't tell you is that the dealership makes small profit on fixing a problem when it's under warranty. And if you have a Ford, that you'll have a problem, that I can guarantee.

Hence, the dealership doesn't really care about any problem under the cloak of warranty. That's not their meal ticket. Not even small potatoes; just annoying potatoes. Potatoes they wish would just wilt and die. Particularly if you bought the car for cash, outright. They'll get around to your problem, when they're good and ready. And maybe the service department will call you, and maybe it won't. After they've worked on the big-ticket items -- the ones that pay the bills, the major money, out of pocket.

Under warranty? You are the dealership's worst nightmare and charity case, something the corporation foisted on them all. The dealership will hate you, and wish you'd go away; better yet, just collapse from the frustration of it all.

A Ford warranty? When your car dies at 11,000 miles, you will not receive satisfaction, an apology, service, or anyone who cares. Oh, and most importantly, you will not have a car. Unless you rent one, partially or entirely charged to your own credit card.

It's my fault. A Ford? What was I thinking? Why did I get a sudden surge of patriotism and feel compelled to buy American. Previously, my life had been so calm and easy, when all my cars spoke Japanese.

Why I hate Ford

"Go Further." That's the new Ford Motor Car slogan. They should specify. Further than what? An inch?

Don't buy a Ford Fiesta. Ever.

Not that you planned to. It is kind of a kiddie-car. Something parents might buy their 16 year old daughter, but only if they didn't like her very much and had lost their life savings.

Still, I bought one, new. It seemed so uncomplicated, just one step above a Schwinn with training wheels. Because all I ask, all I've ever asked of a car is that it, you know, start, and the FM radio works. I'd even opt for roll-down windows over electric, as it's one less thing to go wrong.

But this car, this 2011 Ford Fiesta, couldn't even make it to 12,000 fucking miles without a total meltdown. I was taking it in for a service appointment -- where I bought the car, mind you -- (a 9:45 a.m. appointment; surely they must be efficient if booking on the quarter hour), and it died completely, at an intersection, one block from the destination, Star Ford. I coasted down a side street and it came to a complete stop in the middle of the driveway of another dealership.

I hoofed it over to Star Ford and said, "I've got a 9:45 appointment and my car just died one block away. Can you get me a tow?"

Well, no. "We're really busy," said my -- what's the title? -- oh yes, Service Adviser. "As you can see, I've got people waiting."

"But I'm blocking a driveway. You have my info, can't you call so I can get back to the car and make sure the city doesn't tow it away?"

Well, no. "I've got people waiting." And he pointed me to a phone so I could make my own arrangements.

Which I did. And ran back to the car. An hour later, me and my pumpkin arrived.

"I'm sorry I couldn't help you," said my Service Adviser. "But you understand..."

"I know, you had people waiting."

So he processed the paperwork and told me to wait with the other lost souls, under the red tarmac. I lasted about ten minutes and called for a ride.

It's six hours later and I haven't heard anything. I phoned. "We haven't gotten to your car yet. There were three that arrived before yours."

I pointed out that I had been on time, it was my car that died, one block away, and had to be towed, with no help from him. So technically, these three cars were not ahead of me.

"But now they are," my Service Adviser advised. "I can tell you, we won't get to it today."

Which I found interesting. Would he have left me waiting under the red tarmac all morning and afternoon, and then sent me home, car-less? Was that his plan of action? Is that what generally worked for him, under similar situations?

"Can you guarantee I'll have my car tomorrow?"

My Service Adviser scoffed. "I don't know if we even have the parts."

I'm no good at customer service arguments; some people manage to come out on the winning side, I never do.

I brought up the Ford Corporate Facebook page and posted a tantrum, next to the "Ford Does it Again!" and "Quality is Our Job" entries. I haven't heard back so they probably zapped it.

Yeah, I just checked, they zapped it. Replaced by: So You Think You Can Dance auditions head to Detroit tonight and we were fortunate to have host Cat Deeley film some scenes from the line of our very own Dearborn Truck Plant!

Take my advice, and don't buy a Ford. Or don't take my advice and buy a Ford -- then you can Go Further, but only if you're walking.